"Like a bull in the shoot with a nervous rider."
"You scared?"
"Not even remotely."
"Going to have to come out eventually."
"I already did."
"Out of the basement troll."
"I'm just doing what Grandma told me to do."
"What's that?"
"Mind my business, spend $20 bucks on something that makes me happy, and celebrate my birthday all month."
"What did you spend your $20 on?"
"A portal effect that makes a black hole when I appear or disappear and sitting on the other $10 for if something else cool comes along."
"Aren't you bored?"
"Na. Believe it or not I actually like myself. Moments of doubt certainly, especially when thinking about the past, but I'm perfectly happy down here with my cats."
"Is it everything you hoped?"
"I mean, close, but not quite."
"How so?"
"I'd prefer to be doing the same thing in a cabin on top of a snowy mountain or a shack on a beach, but ya know. We don't get everything we want in live, but we do get what we need."
"Need anything."
"Just my heart back."
"Where's that Jack?"
"Safe last I checked."
"When was that?"
"Mind your business."
"Whoa...I've never heard your voice like that before."
"..."
"Is your eye twitching?"
"What were we talking about again?"
"...ummm...your birthday?"
"Oh yeah, I hate that thing?"
"Why?"
"Because it always falls on or around Memorial day, and as I've gotten older it's just gotten more poignant. How can I celebrate my own fortune when there are so many empty seats at the table.?"
"Plenty of people that would fill those seats you know?"
"I know...but..."
"No buts."
"Listen. I have the rest of my life to pat myself on the back and be congratulated for not dying and being a self centered ass hat."
"You're going to have to do interviews"
"Yeah, I know. That's what the VR is for. to Prep me. talking to people, answering awkward questions. You know, like a flight sim for a pilot."
"Why aren't you helping out more around the farm and such."
"I'm on strike, pretty simple."
"Why on Strike?"
"Because they weren't listening and listening to them was doing me more harm than good."
"So where you going first when you finally emerge from your stinky ass room?"
"Yeah, it is getting pretty dank in here. After I scrub and disinfect everything though, the next county commissioners meeting to slam my dick on the table."
"They aren't the same commissioners that destroyed the farms Jack."
"Sure there bud"
"You know you need their approval to rebuild the farm."
"I mean, yeah, but I ain't going to ask."
"Calm down there Jack."
"I am calm."
"Why are you scarier calm than worked up?"
"Because when I'm worked up I'll walk away, when I'm calm I'm ready to fight."
"With your words I hope."
"The pen is mightier than the sword."
"Why not the bank, or the accountants before the commissioners?"
"Because I'm not going to sink everything I got into a Project I can't get approval for. Last thing I need is saddled with loans that aren't going to get paid back or employees that I can't pay."
"What happened to Grandma's philosophy of 'It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission'? "
"I've already forgiven myself. Hardest thing I've ever done. And I won't beg for forgiveness from people that do not wish to give it. It's not my right to invalidate their feelings."
"So you're just going to sit there then? Playing in VR and doom scrolling?'
"Writing, remembering those that won't be there when we finally all sit around the table, getting the anxiety under control."
"Who's we Jack?"
"The Guild."
"Which Guild."
"My guild. Did I ever tell you where the name came from?"
"I think so? Calvin and Hobbes right?"
"Yep."
"Going to have to come out eventually."
"I already did."
"Out of the basement troll."
"I'm just doing what Grandma told me to do."
"What's that?"
"Mind my business, spend $20 bucks on something that makes me happy, and celebrate my birthday all month."
"What did you spend your $20 on?"
"A portal effect that makes a black hole when I appear or disappear and sitting on the other $10 for if something else cool comes along."
"Aren't you bored?"
"Na. Believe it or not I actually like myself. Moments of doubt certainly, especially when thinking about the past, but I'm perfectly happy down here with my cats."
"Is it everything you hoped?"
"I mean, close, but not quite."
"How so?"
"I'd prefer to be doing the same thing in a cabin on top of a snowy mountain or a shack on a beach, but ya know. We don't get everything we want in live, but we do get what we need."
"Need anything."
"Just my heart back."
"Where's that Jack?"
"Safe last I checked."
"When was that?"
"Mind your business."
"Whoa...I've never heard your voice like that before."
"..."
"Is your eye twitching?"
"What were we talking about again?"
"...ummm...your birthday?"
"Oh yeah, I hate that thing?"
"Why?"
"Because it always falls on or around Memorial day, and as I've gotten older it's just gotten more poignant. How can I celebrate my own fortune when there are so many empty seats at the table.?"
"Plenty of people that would fill those seats you know?"
"I know...but..."
"No buts."
"Listen. I have the rest of my life to pat myself on the back and be congratulated for not dying and being a self centered ass hat."
"You're going to have to do interviews"
"Yeah, I know. That's what the VR is for. to Prep me. talking to people, answering awkward questions. You know, like a flight sim for a pilot."
"Why aren't you helping out more around the farm and such."
"I'm on strike, pretty simple."
"Why on Strike?"
"Because they weren't listening and listening to them was doing me more harm than good."
"So where you going first when you finally emerge from your stinky ass room?"
"Yeah, it is getting pretty dank in here. After I scrub and disinfect everything though, the next county commissioners meeting to slam my dick on the table."
"They aren't the same commissioners that destroyed the farms Jack."
"Sure there bud"
"You know you need their approval to rebuild the farm."
"I mean, yeah, but I ain't going to ask."
"Calm down there Jack."
"I am calm."
"Why are you scarier calm than worked up?"
"Because when I'm worked up I'll walk away, when I'm calm I'm ready to fight."
"With your words I hope."
"The pen is mightier than the sword."
"Why not the bank, or the accountants before the commissioners?"
"Because I'm not going to sink everything I got into a Project I can't get approval for. Last thing I need is saddled with loans that aren't going to get paid back or employees that I can't pay."
"What happened to Grandma's philosophy of 'It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission'? "
"I've already forgiven myself. Hardest thing I've ever done. And I won't beg for forgiveness from people that do not wish to give it. It's not my right to invalidate their feelings."
"So you're just going to sit there then? Playing in VR and doom scrolling?'
"Writing, remembering those that won't be there when we finally all sit around the table, getting the anxiety under control."
"Who's we Jack?"
"The Guild."
"Which Guild."
"My guild. Did I ever tell you where the name came from?"
"I think so? Calvin and Hobbes right?"
"Yep."
