Midnight

 We're nearing the end of 2021.  

Three years.  
That was the original projections. 

As 2015 neared it's end I felt like chicken little screaming that the sky was falling. 
As 2016 ended I struggled to come to grips with all of it while those around me tried to convince me that I was over analyzing and loosing my mind. 
At the end of 2017 I found myself realizing that the sky had not fallen yet but it was starting to rain.  
Towards the end of 2018 I found my mind again and pulled things back together. 
As 2019 ended I found myself in a strange limbo and trying to end battles while trying to avoid creating new ones. 

As 2020 ended I was being proven right.
Now as we look at the end of 2021 my immediate world finds it's self stabilizing while the more nebulous and existential aspects of the world we live in are still in a state of flux. 
An entire world going through a shared grieving process.  Reflecting on what was and how it has shaped the world we are in. 
Morning the world that could have been while struggling to see the world as it was. 
Trying to imagine what the world could be. 

2020...The year of Denial.  
Many didn't believe, or want to believe what was happening.  
"How could a global pandemic sneak up on us like this."
"It will be over in a few weeks....a few months." 

2021... The year of Anger. 
So many pushing back against the realities and how they came to be.  
So many refusing the simple, but effective, panaceas crafted when a world decides to focus, together, on a singular issue. 


2022...Hopefully...the year of Acceptance. 
As we slowly come to grips with the reality of what has happened we have to truly watch out for those that care for us.  
I feel so greatly for those in the medical field right now because as we enter the third year of this Pandemic, hopefully the year we truly get it under control, their work will be the hardest.  
They've been in the forefront of the trenches this entire time. 
As the rest of the world ebbs and flows between outbreaks and surges, enjoying respites and breaks and the ability to get out and breath the medical community has had no such luxury. 

the early deaths, in the 2020 could be taken in stride, "this is an emergency, we need to roll up our sleeves and get to work and we will get to the other side" being the mentality through out. 

The deaths of 2021 taken with a grain of salt. "We have the vaccines, even though some fight against simple safety measures, there is an end in sight." 

But the deaths of 2022 will take the greatest toll.  
Will hit the hardest.  Will break through professionalism  and the pushing drum beat like rhythms of seeing the end of a long road.  
Because the deaths of 2022 are the ones that could have been avoided.  
I'm not saying that vaccines and masks were a magic bullet to stop it all in it's tracks. 
What I"m saying is that as the hospitals fill, again.  As the winter months take their yearly tolls of injury and illness as is it's want for time near immemorial those struggling to save lives will see so many lost because of simple refusal.  
Refusal of facts.  
Refusal of those they viewed as trusted voices lead them astray. 
Refusal to care for themselves. 

This time, this year, was coming. 
It's as unavoidable as the wind. 
And these are the hardest to deal with, the hardest to keep trying for. 
The  ones that leave the harshest and most bitter memories in those trying to care for others.
Because they tried and they warned and they counseled. 
But the ones that refused to listen will be the ones lying in the  screaming their defiance into the faces of those trying to help them. 
And those, struggling to ask for help that did all the right things will be lost in the sound of those screams.  
The ones that could have been saved.  The ones that should have been saved. And...the ones that are begging to be saved even though they refused to pull themselves up when the water hit was at their waists and are now being pulled into the unforgiving rapids. 
The hardest year, but the inevitable year. 

2021 I put my head under the pillow and listened as the world struggled to find it's footing again.  
the leadership changing hands and old policies being addressed while new policies enacted.  
It will be over the next few months that we can examine what was done well and what was done wrong in the process.  When the courses can be addressed and adjusted.  
But his year, aside from the pandemic, is a vital year for the Nation we live in as a whole. 
It's the midterms.  
As much as people want to put at the feet of the President and the choices they make now is when the failure or success of their time is truly decided.  
See, the president is working with rules and policies that were made by the people voted in during the last mid terms, in 2018.  Trying to make adjustments and find common ground with the people voted into, or to maintain, their offices then.  
The 2020 election was simply a change in focus and dealing with what was.  
the 2022 midterms, like kids playing leap frog, will be when the truly policy enforcement takes effect and begins setting the focuses and setting the rules and agendas for whatever teams in leaderships take over during the 2024 elections. |

Maybe mine. 

But first we have to get through what will be the roughest year, emotionally, for the medical community that has been holding this world together the past two years. 

First we have to get people to vote. 
To make sure everyone has their voice heard this year. 
To mobilize voters on the same scale as 2020 saw.  
Because this is when the grading happens.  
the grading on the previous teams jobs and the grading on whether or not the current team will be able to handle their jobs over the next two years.
2022 is when the 2024 presidency is made or broken, not 2025, or 2026, or even 2028. Those are just when the report cards are turned in. 
Now is, 2022. Will dictate the agendas and projects for the next presidency. 
So be diligent, be informed, and start now on securing your ability to vote when the ballots start to be passed around. 

I have a lot of work to do this year. 
I have to analyze the date from the last year, re examine my goals and projections with this new data, and then realistically re adjust those goals and projections. 
But even more than all of that. 
I need to start pulling the team together.
Who that is yet...I don't know.
I just know that by the end of 2022
I need to have it done, or at least, mostly done. 
Because, if I get the job, I have to do the job.  And it's not a job I can do alone.

Foof.

I'm trying to find some words of hope and encouragement going into this new year.  
and hopefully, as I start pulling the data together, and along with it my brain, things will look more so. 

I guess, it's this.  
the storm is still blowing, the waters still raging, and it will test our hearts to breaking. 
But as the storm hits it's peak and the night gets darkest we will know, that it will get better.
The winds will die down, the waters will recede, even if their paths of have changed, and the sun will shine again. 
In the mean time. 
Stay Safe. 
I'll do my best to do the same.

The Wheel Goes Around

 Just finished watching the first Episode of the Wheel of Time series.  
I avoided it, any news about it's production, when it was releasing and all of that. 
Which is funny, because I've read the series cover to cover multiple times and listened to the audio books on repeat for years while working by myself on overnights. 

And here it is almost a half hour after it's conclusion and I just don't know how I feel about it yet.  

Watching a book adaptation to television or film is always a feat in mental gymnastics because it is an adaptation.  There is no way to fully portray the inner workings of a character that you get in a written form transferred to a visual medium. 

I mean there are ways but...ah, that's a debate for a film class. 

As a fan of the books I like it.  

As fantasy film and television goes it's defiantly above average.  

My only quibbles are largely technical.  But I think that comes more from the medium than the actual production it's self.  

It's an Amazon streaming series.  Which means it's meant to be watched in a binge or in small clumps on a phone or a tablet which gives it's pacing...for me...was almost to fast.  
I guess the biggest nit pick is that I would have zoomed out more.  
Giving some longer shots to really appreciate the level of detail put into the scenery, sets, and costumes.  I would have used longer cuts.   the short clip, fast pacing of the sequences didn't allow the actors to really shine with much in the way of chemistry.  
I have to quibbles with the casting or ability of any of the actors in the show.  I actually would have done a very similar casting had I the reigns of the production.  However because of the focus on short, closeups of each of the actors and an almost light switch flipping level of angle changing done in the editing together you didn't get to see the characters really interact.  I'm not saying that they should have had Robert Altman levels of non directional character interactions but a little more in the way of letting the actors act with each other rather than the camera and slowing down the pacing for the interdictory scenes would have given the characters more time to impress on the audience.  

Again, these are more film school level nit picks over all wanting something I've cherished since child hood to be the absolute best of the best.  But over all it was enjoyable, and it was only the first episode, which, is meant to grab an audience that doesn't exist yet while trying not to ruffle the feathers of to many of the fanboys out there. 

On a personal level, it hit hard. It hit in a way that seeing Iron Man the first tine did.  Or the way that seeing End Game did after spending a decade with the characters. There's a lot to sort out there and I'll more than likely be watching more of it so feelings will be had even if I'm not wanting to. 

It's funny, that the Wheel of Time is what gets these fingers properly moving after so much silence.  
An enforced break more than anything.  Focusing on being...social...even if it is in a virtual space.
And...let's be real...in an effort to build a team. 

We'll see.  
After the holidays when I really get back into the thick of things and start the build up for the next couple of years.

Stay Safe