Penguins of fortune.

One thing that I'm slowly starting to realize about myself and the world around me is that I am very socially awkward.

Having spent most of my time in my youth bandying about in the nether reaches of the cyber space my in person social skills could use some work.  Couple this with having come from a family of very...robust personalities...and you have a guy that in person is quiet and painfully shy, fighting chronic pain, and less than confident in their verbal sparring abilities.  That's why during most social situations you find me sitting off to the side of most conversations nodding politely, offering information that is usually on topic, but usually to soft for most of the people around me to hear.

"But you seem so outgoing." You say.

Kinda.
It's the Theater's fault.
  In the Theater world I learned to project confidence even if I am not entirely confident in myself.  So if it's a topic I'm well versed in, or I have a task of some sort I'm able to maintain a level of confidence and self control that give the illusion of an extroverted personality.  This usually works well in work situations. Usually, finding topics of work grounded conversation help me to be more social and interact with the people around me.
 But I am by no means outgoing.

When I really think about it, most of the romantic relationships I've had in my life I was the one that was approached first.  The few small exceptions to this involve cyberspace or liquor.  And I've given up drinking and no longer see the digital realms as a viable dating option for me.

Mostly because I feel that the ability to communicate in a typed manor as dexterously and verbosely as I am able to gives a false sense of my in person abilities.
Yes the mental gymnastics are still there.
Yes all of the big words and crazy concepts are still rattling around in the brain pan.
And yes I still have sharp witted things to say about most topics.

But the problem is that the sharp wit and tongue are here.  In the written word.
In the real world I have a much harder time communicating in an understandable way.
Mostly because the thoughts and witticisms die long before they reach my lips.  Usually deferring to someone with more social grace and skill to hold the conversation.
What can I say, years of sitting in near total silence for days, sometimes weeks, on end and only communicating like this, digitally, and you might get some small understanding as to why I am so socially awkward in what most people view as normal social situations.

But I'm learning.  And with the help of people, that either for love or money, are inexplicably helping me sort through all of this.
A small change since I've actually reached out for help this time around.  My usual M.O. being that of the person that slowly fades into the background and then slips out unnoticed by the populous at large.
For some reason though I couldn't do that this time.
Maybe it's because the life I have built with the insane woman that keeps helping me sort through all of this means more to me than slipping back into a semi lonely obscurity. Maybe it's because I'm done running and hiding and want to face down the past once and for all.  Or maybe, just maybe, I did things right in the past and the future is not so bleak a portrait as I've painted it.  Maybe a little bit of all of them.  We'll see.
All I know, is that I couldn't turn my back on this life.
What was, is past.
What is, is the end.
What could be...
...actually has me curious and somewhat hopeful
We shall see where life goes.
Where ever it takes me next, or wherever I'm able to steer it, at least I know that doing the right thing is worth it.
Even if the right path is often the more terrifying and difficult one.
Even with all of the hardships...I like to think I'd do it all over again.  Maybe make the right decisions sooner if I had the fore thought...but then again if I hadn't experienced life the way that I did...I wouldn't have the perspective on it that I do now.

Are you curious as to that that is?
Me too.
I'm just starting to see the world from this new perspective.
It's discombobulating. That's for sure.
Hopefully, though, that is temporary.

Moving the Pieces Around the Board

As I've been trying to figure out how to put my experiences into words I find myself struggling to maintain a postive outlook.  

I moved out here to Oregon orginally to distance myself from the people, places, and things that had almost destroyed me. 

Only to find out that the laws, institutions, and mentality was even more...we'll use the word antiquated...than things were where I had come from. 

However, never one to shy away from a fight I took a different tact this time around. 
Rather than going stait into the heart of the beasts as had been my previous way of doing thigns I chose to focus my efforts on learning and teaching.  
Learning of the area and it's natural world while teaching, by example, hopefully better and more open ways of thinking and approaching people and world.  

The abuse as a child that I suffered I've largely come to peace with but still find it difficult to sort through many of the events surrounding it has been difficult because of sealed records and sealed lips.
 
The family that tried but did no

t understand. And a mother that is...was...I'm not really sure anymore...one of the most skillful shade throwers I've ever met. 
When I was younger I thought those sorts of looks of disgust and barbs were just normal. 
But as I grew and learned, and distanced myself from those things and surrounded myself with genuine people that...no, those things were not healthy and only normal in certain situations. 

At the end of the day though, the only thing I can really hope for is the motivation to keep writing, to keep developing my story, and hopefully to find a way to sell some of these stories...true, fictional, and a bit in between...to be able to find a safe living situation again. 

My name is Jack. 
A truth I accepted in myself a long time ago. 
Robert is just the name on paper to keep the financials and other things in order. 
I am the last Wizard because my family had many people that have thrived and profited off of the mentality of white supremecy and if I have anythign to say about it there will not be another in my family line after I am gone. 
So I am the last. 
I will work to dismantle the power structure created around white suprmecy and hatred. 
But I will also be the first, the First Son, the first Wizard in a story that is yet to be told. 

I will admit that some days, some days, it is hard and I question everything around me. Including myself.

 
And even though I no longer of the cloak of anonymity to keep me safe, or the resrouces of those I'm hunting and holding accountable to work with I still try. 
I still breath my fire to warm the hearts that needed. 
I still speak my truth, to those that need to hear it. 

Stay Safe out there.

Socially Distant Media

It amuses me to a degree how much people talk about social distancing and things. 
Running an experiment on Tik Tok, using myself as the test subject.  Much as I tend to do in most of my experiments about the ins and outs of social media. 

The funny thing is that as long as I'm doing the cute dances and all of those sorts of things I get a lot of interaction and that sort of thing.   

However when I post my own work, my own writing, my own poetry I get like zero interaction. 

I get racist people thinking I'm one of them because of how I sound and trolls out to just mess with me. 
Then there's the wounded puppy people. 
That see someone that's lonely and hurting and thinking that they can fix or make me feel better. 

The truth of it is that I'm all three of those things. 
The wounded individual reaching out for human interaction, the poet and writer struggling to have their voice heard, and the nerdy funny person  telling jokes and playing along in hopes of brightening peoples days.  
That's the thing though my friends.  
Social Media isn't built for that sort of thing.  
When people view an account on social media they expect the same thing over and over.  
Which I do, to an extent. 
But as I've said several times on there, my tik tok posting is an extension of this blog. A, closer to real time, version of it at any rate.   I can type all day long and post my words as I have done for years and get zero interaction or support. 
Where as if I stick to the "script" on a platform like Tik Tok my marginal looks and ability to mask gets attention where as my raw, realism, and emotion tends to draw trolls out of the woodwork and deter people I would like to learn from.   

It's frustrating, that using my own voice and words tends to be so looked down upon. 
This is why I struggle with depression and thoughts of adequacy as much as I do. 
That my work, my representation doesn't really mean much in the larger spheres of influence.  
I'll be honest though, I've never set out to be famous.  
Paid and comfortable is always a goal.
I think that's a goal for everyone out there. 

However, I've been writing my own stories, my own poetry, my own scripts since I was in the second or third grade and beyond people pointing and saying "it's so long, there's just so much to read"  the rest of it just goes largely unnoticed and under the radar.   

I've seen a little traffic pick up on here since making it known that the blog exists on tik tok but still no interaction, no likes, no comments. 

Nothin'.

"Send letters to publishers" I'm told.  
And I say...na. That's okay.
If my words were actually interesting and/or worth reading then the people that were gas lighting me about them would have shared these posts and encouraged others to read them.  Rather than me running around like a kid with a new toy going "look, see how shiny it is?"

At the end of the day the only thing people have wanted me for is my labor and my body or the things that my labor and body provide.  
Well I'm sorry, my body is quite done with being exploited for little to no compensation.   
My writing and my words are what I want to focus and continue to produce.
So that's what I've been doing.  
Writing, editing, drafting, trying to get people to notice it. 
But at the end of the day either my writing is terrible or I am.   

"Hey, here's my heart.  It's battered and scarred and held together with bubblegum and string."
"Oh, you're not cute, fit, and you don't pander to my needs and I can't say I'm being altruistic by supporting you, I don't really feel it." 
"Oh, okay, well it's what I got, and it's all I've got to really offer." 
"That's pathetic."
"Ah, thanks, anyway...have a nice day." 
"you going to post anymore funny videos today or play a game for me to watch?"  
"Are you payin?"
"No."
"Oh, then no. I'll do them when the mood strikes me but not for you, for me."
"Oh, well, fuck off then parasitic prick."
"Right on."
"Looser"
"Yeah."
"Kill yourself"
"Tried, but it didn't take, so you're stuck with me."
"Try again."
"Na, my presence annoys you, so at least it passes the time."


That's kind of the bulk of my social interaction on social media. 
I mean, there's a few positive folks out there and I try to focus on that. Or on those people.
But I've never really been one of the "cool kids" just me. the weird goth kid that writes stories and tries to figure out why in the hell all of these things happened and works towards finding solutions even if no one is listening.  Because, lets' be real, maybe some one will stumble on these writings and things after I'm gone and they'll find some sort of positivity in them.  Or at least...I don't know. 

Inspiration not to be like me. 

Yay. 

The Rights of the Wronged

My current living situation is complicated.  
I'm ready to pull up stakes and head back to Kansas and work the ren fair as I've always really wanted to. 

However I find myself in a house that I had worked out the story of during a viewing a few years ago.  

Drug addicted people tearing the place apart and using it to cook and move drugs, kids being involved and an older woman being taken advanatage of.  

By pure chance I ended up working with the child that I had figured out was involved in the case of the house and through them was introduced to their mother.   

The mother, when I met her had bruses on her face, hair hanging down over them to hide them.  
I didn't ask many questions but I knew what I needed to from the way she looked at me and the way she acted.  

I didn't say much but I did figure out who the person that had hit her was.

That person, also, by chance, worked where I was. 

After awhile I was invited over again and this time the bruses were there, new ones, but they were hidden under lairs of makeup. 

I was able, through a bit of wrangling and heavy financial investment on my part, end up living on the property. 

WhenI first moved in I was helping clean the place up and inspecting it while at the same time learning what I could, more about the situation. 

Push came to shove and I confronted the fellow that had hit her, who was still livng on the property. 

Found out that he was drinking again and running liqour in his car. 

She got scared and he leaned on her to the point that she's been trying to shuffle me out. 


But that's the trick.  Until I get him out of here I'm not really planning on going anywhere. 

I did some investigation into them, just through public records and  news reports. 
found that he had been picked up a few years ago as part of a round up of drug dealers along with over 20 others, as well as some minors.  

A little while after that he had been picked up on a DUI and found in violation of his probation. 

After the initial confrontation I was able to finally get ahold of the owner of the property, the person paying all of the bills.  

Turns out she doensn't want him here either but she's afraid for her daughters safety so she said that "one of us needs to go"  and it's my thought that the abusive guy should mosey on down the road to the police station.  

but the local p.d. won't step in unless the lady presses charages.   

The two times that I've been able to get her to call an officer out here the guy that hit her "just happened" to be gone.  

I'm curious as to how he has a car if he's been picked up on D.U.I.s amongst other things.  

But the years is drawing to a close and I haven't been paid in quite some time so I'm going to have to figure out what to do. 

the old me would just catch him coming into the house kick the crap out of him and then haul him down to the station myself.  But I don't do that anymore.  

My thing is that a known drug dealer and abusive person should not be living this close to a school as they are.   Hell, if the local officers and things knew these things were going on here why the hell hadn't they done anything about it before.  

I need to pull together some money so that I can get the official records, but the lady has clammed up again, and like I said she's trying to get me out of here because she feels that this guy is the only reason she can pay the bills. 

When the truth of it, and what I explained to her when I moved in and during the following month of working with her on trying to get things cleaned up is that the they need to apply for assistance under various grant programs but that it requires having official inspections done on the property.  

My hands are tied right now so I'll I can do is sit tight and if I hear any screaming an hollaring to go and check it out myself because the neighbors don't really seam to care.  If they had the property would not have gotten to this point. 

I've reported it to the local p.d. myself at the point of initial confrontation after the fellow, Lon, had tried taking swings at me.  
He and his friend, who had been in the apartment when I originally moved in had avoided me heavily and tried to prevent me from working on/cleaning things up and though I don't know if it was them specifically had been breaking / undoing some of the repairs I had done.  

Luckily I had been documenting my work as I was doing it and still have it available online.    Though with what finances I did have and not having been paid in several months my cloud storage is going to have to be downloaded to hard disck soon.  Which isn't a huge problem but since I don't have a secure place to store files like that currently doing so poses a difficulty.  

I don't know.  
The year is almost over and Lon "Trevor"  Hunsinger age 48 and "Jenn" need to be sort this soon so that Bonnie, the owner and stroke survivor currently living out of state will be able to sell it.   
My only concern about selling it currently is that Jen, outside of the abuse, is an acomplace to the drug trafficking that was (possibly still is) taking place through the property.  

All l know is that the person I'm helping is afriad to come to the property currently and has only come to the property for short visits three times over the past few months. 

Point in Fact

 Happy Holidays

The Credit Card Companies are calling to get money that I don't have. 
The accounts that were supposed to facilitate my care as my body and mind degrade will no longer be valid in a couple of days and I'll be left dependent on people that I don't trust to take care of me. 
I'm really not seeing much of a point left.
Let's review shall we. 
I moved out here to get away from a toxic life and try to better myself. 
I succeeded only to be treated like a "gang member" by the institution. 
I was making a break into the entertainment industry only to be used.
I got married and gave everything to the marriage only to be told that when it was time to do the right thing that I was out of my mind and that it wasn't worth doing the right thing. 
I gave up my library because I knew I wasn't going to be able to move it again.
I sold my comics to pay for a trip I never wanted to go on to begin with. 
I tried to sell my video games to keep myself afloat for a little longer but now I'm trapped where I am.  
"Money can't solve all of your problems"
No, no it can't.  
But what money could do right now is hire a lawyer, get me into a place that isn't poisoning me, and pay my phone bill. 
But hey. 
My Math is bad.  
Why is my Math bad? 
Well because I figured I needed a certain amount of money to survive, a much lower estimation than what is considered the "Median Income" and when I asked to be paid what I needed to pull my things together the only answer I got was "I'm sorry, but we don't think that you are worth paying a living wage."  

It's funny, I start getting things pulled together to achieve my goals and then I'm just...not what they're looking for.  

And here I am, letting my brain run circles while i should be working on my book. 

Death and the High Cost of Living

I'm strange.  
I like running numbers and crunching data. 
Which means that I do my taxes in December. 
Gather my paperwork.  Sort and File it all nice and neatly and then address any budgeting short falls and start formulating the following years budget.   I lived for almost 15 years without borrowing money, using credit cards, or going into any sort of debt.  

In 2015 I got my first credit card.   I was starting to travel more in my independent work and a credit card became necessary to cover hotel and rental costs.   

During that time I I kept up on all of those payments save for two instances. 
One - when put into a hospital for psychiatric observation and evaluation and the request of my then wife.  That ended up running us about $20k, plus having to rely on credit cards to cover bills and expenses while I was unable to work.  She worked with the hospital to get the medical bills taken care of and I worked at Walmart to get the credit card debt paid back off and keep the bills under control.  

In 2019 two things happened. 
We took a trip that we did not have the finances to fully cover and I ended up selling off my childhood comic collection to recuperate the costs and second I got divorced.   
After the divorce I went to Washington D.C. to sort some things out and look for work while studying the rail systems and doing as much educational exploration as I could so as to not waste what time I had.  

Nearing the point of maxing out the credit cards after failing to find work or a place to live I returned to Oregon.   Having no friends or family to stay with to save on costs I ended up living out of motels in order to keep a roof over my head while I got a job to work off my debts and enrolled in school. 

During that time I had approached the financial institution on several occasions to seek financial assistance to cover business and school expenses.  They refused to work with me when I first approached them in August, then again in September, and then a third time in the spring.   
The effort was to gain a $20k loan to cover a term at school and consolidate the credit card debt under a more manageable interest rate, cover licensing costs for my business needs to start generating a more steady income from my independent work. 

During that time, while working at Walmart, I was regularly harassed, had my belongings destroyed and stolen, and more than one attempt on my life. 

When fire season approached I requested a leave of absence for medical concerns but was denied and in so doing was unable to apply for unemployment during that period.  

As the fire season ended and I was having my medical needs addressed I was fired.  It was during this time, leading up to and during fire season, that I decided to go the public route of having my grievances with Walmart addressed and forgoing the arbitration process that they typically require with such settlements.  
 
Towards the end of fire season I ended up homeless again and spent money on motel rooms in order to keep my health concerns in check.  

During that time I had the opportunity to relocate to other parts of the country with friends and family but chose to stay and assist a colleague in getting their family home either sold or renovated.  There were many other personal matters involved in the situation but I've done my best to uphold the agreement I made with that colleague.
Unable to secure a physical address for my financial needs and/or find work that would pay enough to cover my needs and unable to file an unemployment claim because of the disputed situation with Walmart what small amount of resources I did have were utilized in cleaning and repairing what I could in my current living situation.  

Those resources ran out at the end of October.  And the living situation I'm in became hostile to the point of having my belongings tampered with and my person assaulted on more than one occasion.  

Now I have people willing to send small amounts of money to keep my phone on and facilitate relocation but because the dispute with Walmart and the inability to find work or aid to cover my finances the credit cards began defaulting and my ability to conduct digital transactions essentially frozen. 

The only thing I have left is some old coins that have no monetary value, my tools and costumes for my work, and a vintage video game collection that I was unable to liquidate before reaching this point financially and the storage of which (as well as the rest of my tools) is inaccessible until I pay for the back rent on the unit.  

So now, aside from the debt from the post divorce trip I've accrued more during the course of the pandemic as well as medical bills I'm currently unable to pay.   I've been surgical in my spending and managing my resources with razor precision so that my debt load has just now only reached where it was when I first returned to Oregon, but with no work available to me currently and application and employment inquiries going unanswered I'm lost, and for the first time since I was a young kid buying a house I'm in an unmanageable amount of debt. 
The difference this time being that there is no work to fall back on and the work I have done/been doing is going unpaid. 

The only thing, at this point, keeping me from doing something dumb is the hope that at least one of the several cases that will result in some form of billing and/or settlement will finalize so that I can pay my debts and move on with my life.   

But, much in the way that the Banks and other lending institutions treated me over the course of the past couple of years it would appear that these "employers" are simply waiting for me to slowly bleed out on the road so that they can pick over the remainders and the only thing keeping me from ending my physical suffering is the fact that if I succeed at one or more of the tasks laid in front of me then people outside of myself will end up in a better place/position in life as well. 

If I fail...then the rats and vultures get to feast on my corpse and what's left of my belongings.

Yay.

Tracking through the Heartlands

Revisiting the Rail designs I've been working on the local area here and considering moving back closer to family I got to thinking about a rail project that I had bounced around a few years ago.  

A passenger rail system through the Heartlands of the U.S.  
Starting with a passenger line that would run from Kansas City Kansas to Colorado Springs Colorado.  

The line would have stops in every municipality along it's rout. 
 The main passenger and travel would stop at each place along the way with hop on hop off service. 
The rout would be fairly simple to determine by following existing highways structures and easements.  
From there it would be a matter of scheduling a four hour window of down time in the morning and in the evening.


This four hour window would clear the track of all of the smaller trains at their stations for maintenance, cleaning, and resupplying while giving the crews of these trains a respite from passengers.  

More importantly though, this four hour down time would give the tracks time to allow the highspeed commuter line to travel between the two states, the travel time of which would take approximately 3 hours , running both directions twice a day.  

Route and station placement would need approval by all Tribes with lands within 100 kilometers of track and station placement, and those tribes would have exclusive bidding rights to businesses in or within 1 kilometer of the stations.   

After the KCK - CSC line was up an operational the focus would be a North South Line running from Winnipeg Manitoba in Canada to Monterrey Nuevo Leon Mexico as part of the the North American Trade Agreement to facilitate worker and tourist travel.  

The North south line, for safety and management speed would need to be split into segments approximately the distance of route. KCK-CSC Line

Starting Salina Kansas the North bound portion would run 
Salina Kansas to Sioux Falls South Dakota = SK to SFSD
Sioux Falls South Dakota  to Winnipeg Manitoba Canada = SFSD to WMC

The South Bound line would run 
Salina Kansas to Oklahoma City Oklahoma = SK - OCO
Oklahoma City Oklahoma to San Antonio Texas = OCO - SAT

San Antonio Texas to Monterrey Nuevo Leon Mexico = SAT - MM

Each Segment consisting of approximately a 3 hour travel time and covering between 900 kilometers per segment and covering approximately 3000 km with a total travel time, while accommodating for connection times, of approximately 20 hours. 

All dependent on route and station placement. 

Yes, this is roughly twice the travel time of flying and the same as drive time. 


Why Trains Though -
Reducing Highway Congestion during Holiday Travel and Inclement weather. 
Trains have Café and Lounge Cars allowing for more comfortable travel.
Facilitating travel for the Disabled and Elderly.
Facilitating inexpensive travel for Educational and School Trips
Small business support

        -Craft and Fragile Goods Shipping

        - Office and Meeting Space

        - On rail and rail support businesses

Having a dedicated "home station" for each train guarantees that each station house would receive revenues from the passengers that travel on that train and ensuring "docking" fees for trains from other stations.  While the trains themselves travel by Segment. 
"Long Haul Trains" from one end of the route to the other would be joint ventures with car(s) contributed by each station along the route and the Engines being jointly sponsored by the regional lines. 

Arguably the engines along all segments should be jointly sponsored to ensure standardization for maintenance and capability.  

At the end of the day the Nation needs a project to focus it's energies into and to help rebuild an economy that, even though not broken, is flagging and has taken a huge hit since the start of the Pandemic.  
  

Monopolization with a Sledgehammer.

For those that don't know I've been arguing that Walmart is a Monopoly that needs broken up, but to address this we need to look at other existing monopolies so that we can address the larger part of the whole.  

I've been practicing my arguments in front of a Camera all morning so I'm going to try and abbreviate as much as a I can here.  

We have three different forms of monopolies we're looking at in the Tech Sector

Digital Monopolies

Physical Monopolies
and 
Hybrids of the Two other Monopolies.  

Facebook and Google are Digital Monopolies. 

Amazon a Hybrid

And Apple and Walmart Physical Monopolies.  


So, how do we break them op.  

Starting from a top down we have to disassemble and the reassemble to avoid causing entire economic collapses.   


First we have to break up these  Monopolies and then rather than paying out massive fines and those sorts of things we impose "Public Service"  on the companies.   Much like low level offenders are tasked with cleaning up garbage and things each company would be assigned a public service.  

Facebook. 

    Would stay, essentially, untouched. 
    Public Service : Account Verification for public access services such as voting and census data.
        Removal of Instagram - Instagram being given the task of Arts/Entertainment industry verification of professionals for posting in/on sites like I.M.D.B

        Removal of What's App - To be maintained as secure messaging service.

        Removal of Oculus - 
        

Google.(alphabet)

    Would continue to act as a secure search engine and data storage offering. 
            Public Service - Mapping and Commerce Traffic and Verification. 

             Removal of Youtube : Youtube to be given to Public Broadcasting Services for management and acting as a content hub and subscription management service for Arts, Educational, and News services.  
             Restructuring : Removal of Ad based services from all content with the exclusion of search service, relegating ad content to side bars and only presented in relevant searches at user request. (i.e. shopping and art searches)

        


Amazon : (Amazon Marketplace and Shipping)
               Public Service : Small business and shipper verification before entry into digital market.
        Removal Amazon Studios and Kindle programs and IMDB from parent company. 
        Amazon Basics offerings requiring Amazon Prime business or student status to access.
        International Companies requiring U.S. customs registration before marketing.

        Sellers requiring third Party registration and Registration with U.S.P.S for shipping physical products.

Apple : 
    Public Service : Security Devices for travel and vehicle operation verification

    Removal and selloff of Entertainment content offerings through apple marketplace. (i.e. streaming and gaming services) 
    Requirement to Hardware and Firmware only.  

 
Walmart - 
       Requirement of Wage Standardization and/or Unionization.  
        To offer no less than Median Income to lowest paid employees. 
            As of 12-11-2020.

        Full Time Employees - $1,115 a week Salary or cumulative of 40 hours.
        Part Time employees - $557 a week in Salary or Cumulative of 20 hours.

                        Salaried Employees can not be required to work more than
                      50 hours in a week or cumulative of  190 hours in a Month full time

                        30 hours a week or 100 hours in a month. 
         Seasonal / Contract / New Hires under Sixty Days

                Minimum of $15 an hour. 

                       
          Divestiture from real-estate, financial, and insurance services owned and operated by Walmart Inc. 

        Requirement that Private Label brands be  relegated to Sams Club or direct to business/educational/non-profit sales only.  

Some, especially investors and share holders, will view some of these cuts/restructuring as incredibly drastic.  
And this is untrue.   
However all of the above companies have been found to have built much of their current wealth and holdings through monopolization. 
Also, their company structures and focus are designed for exponential growth in a marketplace that has a finite size, and the larger each of these companies grows they create less space for their competitors and startup/small businesses to thrive in. 
   By having the largest companies in their respective fields checked by divesting in markets outside of their specialty and offering a truly competitive compensation rate in their fields it will allow smaller competitors space to grow and work while at the same time attracting a better developed and specialized workforce to their companies needs and prevent the 
Wage and Employment Stagnation / (Walmart)
Crossover between software and hardware security (google/apple) that creates many of the security issues that have plagued much of modern Tech concerns on the user end.
The disruption of physical and small businesses development (Amazon), 
And the spread of misinformation from unverified sources (Facebook) 


Arguably, outside of the entertainment offerings of Google(alphabet) and Apple these two companies do not actually have monopolies in the classic sense, appear to from a U.S. physical economy stand point and were brought into the tech lawsuit by individuals that do not fully understand the tech sector and would be easily solved by requiring apple to use 3rd party developers for their software(not firmware) while conversely requiring Google to use 3rd party developers for their hardware.  

 

While fixing the supply side bottlenecks created by Amazon and Walmart is simply relegating their first party products only to subscription basis and qualifying organizations, even though the Walmart case is separate based on their labor practices their use of first party product lines has facilitated much of that expansion and labor manipulation by undercutting their competition in cost the highest consumed commodities and creating waste disposal issues by doing so. 

On the Facebook front it is simply recognizing the full socio-economic and geopolitical  impacts that social media has come to have over the past thirty years and fully integrating it into the governments that it has come to impact. 


One other note concerning the tech sector that I feels should be addressed, and that is Wikipedia.  

Wikipedia has become the modern day "Britannica" and should be recognized as such.   And a U.N. proposal for funding it should be brought forward to insure operating costs and impartial/objective curation of it's content. Such a valuable tool to the world over should have world wide support. 

Stay Safe out there.

Forcing in Some Reality

 I did a short video today on the difference between science fiction v.s science fantasy.  
The explanation is simple : Aliens.      
Once Aliens,  biological entities from a point of origin other than Earth, then it becomes fantasy.   
The biggest reason for this is that the scientific community has not been able to irrevocably prove the existence of said Aliens.  
  
Science Fiction means, no Aliens.  
Just humans and or known existing creatures. 

Science Fiction falls into two very distinct realms.
Speculative and Hard
Hard Science Fiction takes already developed technologies and gives them a logical generational boost and is set in a future less than a generation away. 
Such as "Blade Runner or Black Mirror" : even though some of the technologies in both of these "universes" has proven to be relatively in effective or did not develop as far as imagined they still see short term logical uses of the technologies represented there in.  
Speculative Science Fiction looks further into the future and makes educated guesses.  Usually several generations removed from our current time.  For Example, "The Expanse" would be a closer to current time where as "Altered Carbon" and "Battlestar Galactia" would also fall into the realms of speculative Science Fiction if set further and further into the future, respectively.  

This little rant aside one of my favorite things to do is to take fantasy writings, Science or otherwise and try to apply logic to them and get them closer to Science Fiction.   

One of the more interesting thought puzzles has been the Star Wars Universe, it falls into the realms of Science Fantasy, or High Fantasy depending on how you view "The Force".   

One of the biggest flaws that many people attribute to the Star Wars Universe and it's misuse of Science is the Kessel run.  "The Falcon finished it in 12 Parsecs"  is the quote.  Many scientists say "Well a parsec is a measurement of distance not time"   And to which I say "No shit, but the statement still stands."  
And here's how.
Let's take into account that to travel through something like "Hyper Space" or faster than light travel an object has to navigate the gravity wells of Stars, Planets, and Black Holes.  Not to mention all of the other flotsam and jetsam making it's way all higgldy piggldy out there in the Universe.  In order to do this all of the calculations for speed, trajectory, distance have to made ahead of time. 
The star wars universe has different rating factors for their "Hyper Space" Drive.  Dictating how many times the speed of light the ship can be propelled at. 
"Well then it's all about the speed or power of the drive then" 
"No."  This is where I take a big sigh and try to get my thoughts in order. "The speed of the drive simply dictates how many times faster a ship can go, you still have to take into account maneuverability and, most importantly, trajectory calculations.   A mistake in which gets you to your destination safely or puts you spaghettified into the middle of a black hole." 
So, Han boasting he made the Kessel run in 12 parsecs means he was able to skirt closer to many of the gravity wells on the route and cut through many areas that other ships pilots or computers were unable to.  Because Han is/was a brilliant mathematician he was able to shave massive amounts of distance off of the route, there for, decreasing the over all amount of time so that even if the Falcon had a slower engine they could still get there faster.  
I'd argue that Chewie was the better Pilot. 
Or maybe it was the other way around.   
You never know with those two.


Moving forward and into "The Force" 
In the original three films the explanation of the force was largely left to mysticism and magic as it's explanation.  In the prequal trilogy it was attributed to "midichelorians"  and in the newer films it was largely left as a vague smile. 

My argument (entirely fictional and only vaguely bordering on speculative)  would be quantum entanglement, the splitting and sharing of electrons between two individuals.     These "Midichelorians" being concentrations of the things.  

The idea occurred to me because of the film and television series "Highlander"  in which virtual immortals travel earth chopping off each others heads to absorb their memories and muscle training, shown by a surge of a lightning passing between the two combatants when one is slain.  

Taking this concept into the Universe it would be argued that "The Force" is simply a stabilized web electrical brain impulses that allow a "Force User" with enough of these split electrons to send their consciences out along this web.  And, with time and training, create copies of themselves to live within this web. 

That, unlike the Highlanders, where the ideas is to close the web, the idea behind "The Force" in the Star Wars universe would be to to expand this web.   
During the early history of the Star Wars Universe there was no real "Dark" or "Light" side of the force.  There simply was "The Force" and Jedi were individuals that learn to sense and tap into this.  Their temples, arguably, acting like beacons and radio transmitters to increase range and potency. 

When the Sith Rose they took the highlander approach, thinking that, by consolidating this power they would be able to rule over it, not realizing that by closing the web it reduced it's effectiveness and simply created bubble within the force that eventually popped.   

"The Force is neither good or evil, but a tool for a Jedi"  I think was said by Obi Wan

During the Republic Era the Jedi had popped the bubble of "Dark Force Users" and sent that energy back out into the larger web, but then, with Coruscant acting as another Bubble of  "Light Side of the Force"   The Sith, having learned from their original mistake spread themselves purposefully thin to hide themselves from the Jedi Order.  And the purpose of the Clone Troopers was to dilute Palapatines powers enough to disguise himself while at the same time allowing him more direct connections within the force. 

If this were the case, then Kenobi's willing transference of himself into the Force would not have been to strengthen Luke, but to weaken Palapatines hold over the cone troopers and Vader himself. 
You see, if my theory were proven true then "Vaders Fist", or the 501st legion, aside from offering a physical tactical advantage would have been acting as a link through "The Force" on Vader.  And as the loyalty of the troopers moved from Palaptine because of mental and social conditioning through the cloning process moved to Vader and Vader was faced once again by his old mentor and children he thought dead the loyalty wavered and there for the strength was balanced between Vader and Palapatine allowing for the final shift of power that ended Palaptines life. 

If this reasoning proved sound it would explain why Kenobi would not have had alot of direct contact with Luke and why so many of the survived Jedi after order 66 would have remained so distant and acting as guardians rather than teachers to the younger force users they were charged to hide and guide. 

Because they did not want to make the same mistake a third time, by concentrating force users and creating beacons for power hunger individuals. 

Moving into the Sequels with Kylo and Rey this would explain why Snoke would not want to use Clone Troopers again.  Not because it was an ineffective tactic, but because by creating an army of, essentially, force sensitive clones Palaptine had created the key to the disruption of his own power. 

Which raises the question of How many Jedi truly survived order 66?   I mean not all Jedi recognized the councils authority and not all Jedi were entirely "Light or Dark" in their uses of the Force. 

How many other young trainees were hidden by the dispersal of the Jedi Order.  
Yes, the clone army and reach of the Empire was vast, but The Universe and places to hide therein are more vast than any singular "Force" could be.

These things keep me up at night, and these are the stories I want to tell.

Response and Recvovery

Let's address the elephant in the room shall we. 
Covid-19
The Response and the Treatments.  

1.  Treatments and Medications.
                I have never and will never give recommendations in that regard because I am not experienced enough to do so.   My advice was always to listen to your medical professionals.   

2 .  "Treat it Like the Flu"

        I made a statement early in the pandemic that individuals should treat it like the flu

        A narrative adopted by the current administration but in an effort to downplay the threat.
        In that regard I was referring to not going to work or social gatherings and seeking medical attentions

       One of the downsides of this thinking, in hindsight, comes from many people having little regard for the health of others and continuing about their normal business.   The other issue of this comes from people not having enough to stay home in the initial days.  Not having the financial stability and continuing forward because they needed to.  

3.  Masks and Masking

        The mask and mask mandates were meant to help lessen the spread of the virus. 
        The science behind this is simple, it keeps individuals from coughing on each other and spreading things further.  When  faced with a disease that attacks the raspatory systems and is spread through simply breathing.   
        Masking and Mask mandates were, and are, meant to be supplemental to more common and wide spread practices like handwashing and other things. 
            

4. Lockdowns

        It was originally projected that there would be a large scale economic impact if Lockdowns were found necessary  to implement.  This measure was to be implemented to alleviate the hospital flooding caused by a highly infectious disease running rampant through communities. 
The impact of which would fundamentally change the structure of our economy.  In the original papers and recommendations that I wrote back in 2016 concerning these impacts I recommended shifting the focus of economic into a number of sectors to facilitate an economic "reboot" to so speak.

                          -  Economic Recovery Plans - 

            -Reinforcing, Updating, and expanding digital communications networks : The focus of this was to create a safe and secure network for primary education and easier pathways for secondary education.

            -Expansion of EMS and Medical staffing and support -   This focus was to create a model for telemedicine and the return to at home health care.

            - Logistical Restructuring  -  "A return to eggs and milk"  back in the early days of suburbia milk and eggs were essentially a subscription service.  And a return to this focus to create an industrial de-evolution and to rebuild food delivery services as a standard rather than an exception. As currently these services are only offered to homebound individuals.   
            - The Neighborhood Grocer - This focus was to reduce the "Food Desert" issue and facilitate delivery of fresh produce and supplies. One of the great losses to "super centers" and many zoning laws that were developed during the early parts of the 19th century were originally developed to separate people along racial lines, after that zoning laws were used to create economic holds on communities by larger corporations and businesses. 

            -The New Minimum Wage - While the economy is essentially in shut down the plan was to examine what constitutes essential work and standards for living and update the minimum wage to reflect the needs and necessities to participate in a modern economy. 

            -Recycling - The focus of  recycling would be on building recycling centers meant to process garbage from the ground up, to sort and distribute it to it's utmost effectiveness and create as close to a zero waste economy as possible.  

5. The Defense Production Act - 
        Using the Defense Production Act to rebuild and modify production facilities to create a more stable supply / production line for PPE and other necessary items for the treatment of the disease.  Specifically items that can/could be used to 

5. Waiting for a Vaccine. 

        During original projections of a vaccine manufacturing the time projections were a at a minimum a year for safe development.   This short of a time span largely based on having such a world wide epidemic and infectious disease would see the pouring in of resources and assistance in the process of developing one.  And, such is the case of Covid-19, being a mutation of a virus that a vaccine already existed for.   On the long side I saw about three years if a vaccine for a completely new virus strain had to be developed from scratch and learning how to live in the "new normal" and learning from the lessons and missteps from this disease so that the pandemic protocols would be built into the very fabric of modern society to prevent such large scale outbreaks in the future.

6. Distribution. 

        Once a safe vaccine was found the largest question would be "who get's it first?"   
            Prioritization, in my opinion, beginning in the hardest hit communities, should be as follows.
                Treatment facilities

                EMS

                Healthcare and Aid Workers *

                 Essential Workers in direct contact with the public

                Essential Workers in logistics and distribution

                Primary Education workers.
               From there, as distribution allows. 

Arguably, by the time supply and manufacturing hits the point of being able to treat healthcare and aid workers on a national scale it would be to the point of working out the kinks in logistics to provide on a scale necessary to cover the larger population. 
 Once the pandemic was brought back under control and vaccine availability becoming a choice rather than a necessity.
    I do not agree with anti-vaccination sentiments but I do understand cultural hesitations in regards to large scale governmental deployments of medical programs. 

Good luck and Stay Safe. 

A decade of Asking and Telling.

 When I was younger I always wanted to be an Astronaut and in order to to do that the most direct way was by joining the military.   I grew up with several members of my family having been in the military and many friends of the family being active or veteran service members. 

When I was about 12 or 13 I started to have strange feelings when it came to other boys.   Yes, I do like women and yes I do like men.   I didn't know it at the time but the term was bisexual.   The most common word I heard thrown around concerning men that like anything outside of the cis herteronormativity was "Faggot."   I had met many "Fags" and they weren't bad people.  They were very kind, compassionate and brave.  Much more so than some of the veterans and active service at the time were.
When I was about 16 I started to understand what all of  it meant outside of the hatred and silence that surrounded the topic.  I started to understand more about myself and what I was romantically interested in.  At 17 I accepted myself and chose to be open about myself even though I knew it would exclude me from the dreams of traveling among the stars that I had always held so dear to my heart.

Fast forward to some undefined time during 2003 basement, my bullet riddled body struggling to stay standing against a day of being tortured and beaten facing charges of terrorism and treason.  I stood tall, told my story to the people laying the charges at my feet and my home in shambles. 

I didn't spit in their face, I told them the mission that they were about to go into and then I stood my ground with their commander. After walked myself out to the ambulance.
I don't know how long I was in a coma after that.

I continued to server my country as a private consultant and investigator, held the oath of service in my heart and have done my best to uphold the ideals and definitions of the constitution and serve the American people even though, at the time, I would be spit on, attacked, and harassed if the fullest extent of who I was were ever made public knowledge. 

Here we are almost ten years after the "Don't ask Don't Tell" policy has been repealed and an entire generation of troops are only taught about this struggle in their history classes.   Yes, there is still a long way to go when it comes to LGBTQ  rights in this nation, and the world as a whole and I'll continue fighting that fight until I can lay down my sword and rest or until Freyja carries me to Vahalla.  Either way I continue.

This year we had a great victory for our Transgender brothers and sisters and it gives my weary heart hope. 

Stay Safe out There, and if you feel you need to fight.
Do it with glitter.
Love is Love.
~Jack.

It just Makes Census.

 The current administration is still trying to get Illegal Immigrants out of the census count. I've made this argument before but I feel it is time to readdress this since it is currently being argued. 

We need to count everyone regardless of citizen status.  

The census determines how to staff and fund emergency service agencies. 

The census determines how much food and other supplies to send into an area. 

For those that wouldn't want to be counted because "I don't want the government in my business"  then  let me ask you this. 
Do you want a fire truck to show up if your home is on fire?
If you do, then get counted even if it's just holding up the middle finger to be counted as "one"

Illegals immigrants  come in a lot of different categories

. 
1. Lapsed Visas - work visa holders pay taxes contribute to the economy and their communities in larger ways.  We want these people to stay and get back to work and to continue their support.  People would argue that remittances are "stealing" from the country.   But the truth of remittances is that, especially when supported and assisted in their delivery actually bolster and boost the economy as a whole.  The U.S.D. is the current trade standard and much of the supplies remittances purchase are ordered through U.S. companies and trade partners. 

2. Hidden Refugees - need help and can provide information about situations that need aid or more direct assistance. 

3. Bounced Programs - individuals brought in under legitimate programs and then the program defunded/ended and having established homes and businesses. (biggest example is the agricultural programs.)   And rather than risk not being able to return when the work is made available again they wait until the next season/program starts.   These individuals should be counted as citizen workers or dual residency workers.

4. Students - Some would argue that if a student is here on a scholarship or grant program that they are taking resources from other students of citizens.   I'd argue that it is the opposite of this.  These students are a fundamental piece in the educational process and give students that have never traveled or are learning second and third languages direct access to native speakers of these languages and first hand perspectives on what it is like in their country.   
Currently our educational system focuses on bringing in students from wealthier areas and countries to support budgetary short falls.   However I would argue that supporting poorer and less fortunate students in the educational system would raise the over all level of success.
As an example I would point to some of the most successful, self made, entrepreneurs in U.S. history.
When given these opportunities they are less likely to take them for granted and fight harder to succeed.  Imagine if these individuals were supported rather than discriminated against.   

5. Criminals - Actual drug and human traffickers or the individuals that support these trades.   The actual dangerous individuals that need removed is a much smaller count than many think.   Most of the "criminals" that people see or are caught are victims of the trafficking themselves.  Either through enslavement or extortion, and the reason these people are trafficked or forced to help is because America has a market for these things, if we want to stop the criminals from coming over or get better help from the refugee and immigrant communities then we need to address these issues from a top down perspective, which is those utilizing these "services" because the illegals form of of drug distribution and sex workers is cheaper and more available to those that want to utilize the abusive nature of the illegal's trades.   
Largely pedophiles and businesses that use such services (illicit substances and unchecked abuse) as "client entertainment."

In the end, we need counts, to keep funding levels adequate and to keep resource levels at a healthy level. If we remove "Illegal's" from the census then we are cutting funding to communities that need the assistance and making it easier for the criminal element and those that profit from those elements to conduct their business.   

I'm not saying that Law Enforcement needs funding to wage a war in these communities. 
What I am saying is that funding needs to flow into the support networks around Law Enforcement to better  address the needs of the community and freeing up police/sheriffs departments to focus on appropriately supporting their communities. 

Stay Safe Out There.  

Colorado without Kansas

 After waking from a nap today I tuned into the news and found myself seeing the same story that's been playing out for as long as I can remember.  

Intertribal wars and genocides in Africa with refugees trying to flee the conflict to more stable countries. 
 

First some history.  

The North African Region has been a contested area through out the entirety of human history.  Because of the easy access from the Mediterranean sea to facilitate trade routs to the oil found there and heavily sought after since the age of industrialization.  

The reason for the current refugee crisis that is seeing nearly 80 million people displaced comes from a variety of situations.   

1. During World Wars 1 and 2 the fighting over the region by the various empires destroyed much of the history and infrastructure that supported the region. 

2.  by trying to "modernize" agriculture in the region much of the rich farm lands were destroyed, creating a mirror to the dust bowl that caused millions of Americans to starve during the great depression.

3.  Once trade was established through oil coming out of the region and a flood of resources coming into the area there was a population boom.  As the population outgrew what local production could support the region became dependent on outside trade. 

4. As the region began to destabilize and governments choosing genocide over resource management the western civilizations began withdrawing their support and placing sanctions on the region. 

. 


So how do we solve this. 
Well, that's why I was working at Walmart actually.  
Trying to figure out what it was about the American economy that makes it so successful in some communities and then fails others so badly, and it all boils down to infrastructure and inventory management.

Market places only work when there is adequate infrastructure to support it  which is why many minority communities in the U.S. have struggled over the past few decades. Either through neglect or active sabotage minority communities within the U.S. borders have had difficult time securing adequate water and healthy food supplies. 

So how does this help us solve the refugee problem. 
Well, for starters we better focus our aid. 

The first step is infrastructure and the backbone of that will be in recycling.   
Recycling what is already there and recycling the supplies that are brought into the region. 

The second step is sending better supplies.   

Largely humanitarian efforts focus on the cheapest and lightest forms of food to send into a region because it feeds more people quickly.   The folly in this is sending dry goods into a dry region.  Dry goods are great if you have adequate water supplies to rehydrate them but a kick in the face to a region that does not.  

By sending dry goods into a desert you are simply exacerbating the larger problem. 
So.
We send canned goods.   
Canned goods are more expensive to produce and take larger efforts to ship but they are the supplies that will do the most good in a dry and arid region. 

Why Canned Goods?

1. A supplemental water source.
A can of beans over a bag of beans, yes, feeds fewer people but the quality of the meal is far better when it is supplementing hydration needs as well.  Also, when dry goods are sent they require a large portion of the already limited water supply to prepare to the point of being able to eat them.  

2. Recycling the packaging. - 
    By creating recycling centers to take the packaging back in and return it to a raw material the metals of the cans can be used to build up infrastructure for electrical grids and water processing/delivery needs. This creates a marketplace of jobs, food, and that can heal and rebuild the region. 

3. Nutritional Supplement.
        Canned goods, outside of providing supplemental hydration have a higher over all nutritional value than dry goods. Providing healthier food options.  



As the recycling centers are established and the canned goods arrive in the region and are consumed and processed the infrastructure around them also increases. Thus stabilizing much of what the various governments and factions are truly fighting over.  
Food and Water. 
Two birds one Can. 

As basic infrastructure in the cities and permanent settlements stabilizes; better, and region specific, agricultural infrastructure can be established.   
After all, the majority of the North African region in turmoil is dry and arid that does not support large scale agriculture, but as the area is almost literally flooded with construction material and moisture through the canned goods green houses and other forms of adaptive agriculture can be established. 

From a U.S. perspective, the North African region is geologically equivalent to living in a mountainous state like Colorado without an agricultural neighbor like Nebraska or Kansas to provide the bulk of the food stuffs that supply it.  



I hope this helps. 
It should.
Stay safe out there. 

Passing Away

In 4 days this phone gets shut off.  
My entire life is tied to it.  
My way of contacting people. 
My way of managing my bank accounts. 
My way of communicating with the rest of the world.

When this phone shuts off all of the verification for all of the digital accounts. 
Employment records.
Photos.  
I just won't have access anymore. 
And if I can't remember the passwords, which I won't because I never do, almost every account having a different one, i'll be locked out of them. 
Wow. 
Here I was. 
Thinking that there were people out there listening.  
When, as it seems, all it was the delusions of a broken mind.
I guess I'll be on Tik Tok until then. 
It's the only place where people still talk to me or interact with me like I'm actually a human being. 
But, even then, that account it is tied to this phone as well. 

I thought I'd be more sad.  
But in honesty, I just kind of feel numb. 
Ireached out help years ago to try to get ahead of this.  
"Well Jack, how could you know?"
Because I do. 
I can't explain it. 
I just do. 
Down to the day when I would run out of money. 
When the credit cards would start defaulting from insufficient payments. 
How much of my time and energy would be wasted. 
The only thing I didn't account for was how indifferent the people in my life would be about it. 
How little my writing and my work meant. Or even factored in to anyone elses life. 
I wanted to go to Disneyworld when I retired.  
When I had a family to with. 
I wanted to go to D.C. to apply for work. 
Instead it was backwards. 
And Disney dreams and wishes never paid the bills and D.C. didn't want me. 
Well. 
It was a good run.
I did some good things with my life.
Helped some people out.

And ya know.
At the end of the day that's all I can ask for. 
So 4 days.

Huh. 
Happy thanksgiving. 
I'll see you on the other side.

"Oh Jack, there is no other side. .."
I know.
Just the illusions of a broken mind shattering and falling to the ground.

Stress Dreams

 I haven't dreamt in a long while.
I tend to run myself to exhaustion to avoid them. 
I have reoccurring dreams that are part memory, part nightmare.

In this one it involves moving to a safe place with friends.

We spent several days camping out of our car while looking for a safe place to go. 

Eventually we find a very remote community out in the hills.  There is a two story house with a basement, which I guess technically makes it a three story house. 

My friends and I are looking the house over, thinking about additions we can make to it so that we'll each have our own little apartment space within it.   
As we're settling in there is the sound of motorcycles roaring on the hillsides surrounding the little valley that we're in. 

I look up and I realize that our safety and hippieness was just an illusion.  
We scatter, hoping into cars.  
Trees and dirt fly as I tear across a grassy field heading for the tree line.   
A black S.U.V., lights flashing, pulls out of the trees and takes up position behind us.  

I feel the sting of an angry bee in my back and the windshield of the convertible spiderwebs into the seat.  My friend in the passenger seat falls silent.  The S.U.V. has disappeared from the rearview and I hear the crunch of metal in the trees. 

I run into a dead end.
Some sort of rodeo is happening and I slow and cautiously make my way through the crowd to confused looks.  
I make it around the outdoor arenas perimeter and find another trail leading off into the trees.  

That when the world starts to fade out...

And I snap awake as though I had just nodded off. 

I've been awake for almost a half hour now and my heart is still pumping with the adrenaline still coursing through my veins. 

Despite that near freezing temperatures in my room this morning I am sweating. 

What Does it Mean to be Thankful?

 After watching the oversight committees for the Afghan conflict yesterday I started on thoughts about how to end the war.   
A project and problem that I've been working on since the towers fell in 2001.  
And, even though I do not, by any means, think that I can offer an end all solution I can offer my findings and opinions.   
Much like everyone else is able to.  
As I began outlining my arguments it struck me that this conflict was representative of many other things and that the coming holiday, Thanksgiving, was an example of exactly what we are fighting for. And this morning I finished this piece. 
  So, as follows, is the script for the video that I recorded and posted just before this blog post. 

Concerning Afghanistan

The main reason the attacks of September 11th 2001 happened is because the Afghanistan people, at the time represented by Al-Qeida, had a legitimate grievance that they were caught between the larger super powers as these super powers fought for control over the resources of their homes. 

Concerning Troop Movements.

The problem is not "can we, as the U.S. and Coalition armed forces win on the battlefield?", that is not and has never been the question.  The question is, and always has been, "Can we end the fighting."

One of the biggest examples we could set that would be more effective than any number of troops or aid sent in for nation building would be to begin re-examining our nations oldest treaties with the Native Peoples of the lands that we already live in. 

What faith do the Afghan people, and the various organizations that oppose western involvement in their affairs, have in a nation that does not honor the treaties with their own people? 

Addressing the territories that are currently owned by the U.S. Government and the lands of the Indigenous People. 

This the main arguing point that the Taliban and other organizations like them have against the U.S. and other super powers that they believe, regardless of evidence or intent, but fully believe that they are simply being prepped  to become another "American Territory." 

We need to heal the rifts within their own borders before we can bring the Taliban and ISIS to the table with any true trust or willingness to negotiate.

Arguably the only thing that the American Military should be doing in Afghanistan is making sure that food, medicine, and other supplies are getting to the Civilians.  And coordinating with both Russian and Chinese governments to do it, rather than working against each other to secure a seat of military power. 

These smaller, isolated, resource rich nations have been to long caught between the power struggles of Russia, China, and the U.N. 

This is not a concession, it is a returning to the original mission parameters, and remembering why the conflict began in the first place. 

We keep looking at borders on maps in this conflict and thinking that enforcing them is the solution.   When in truth it is the continuation of ages old conflicts concerning the availability of necessities of life and the safety of tribes of peoples.

Looking at the entirety of the Middle Eastern and South Pacific Conflict post World War II in an attempt to thwart the "red threat".

After World War II the allied powers forced many smaller, nomadic tribes, that had their own conflicts and grievances amongst themselves together.  The Israeli conflict a direct result of the larger nations being unwilling to shelter a displaced people and returning them to a homeland with weapons to fight a people that were no longer representative of those that originally displaced them. 

Much in the way the youth of our nation are railing against systems put in place by the very same people that chose to send a displaced people into a war zone rather than inviting them into their homes until a peaceful negotiation for their home could be made.

All of this misinformation being spread by those that saw by those that saw themselves as apart from nature and not a part of it.   Creating a breading ground for dictatorships, subjugation, and generations of war. 

These peoples, those of the Islamic faiths and Middle Eastern nations, coming from from a faith and civilization with a history longer than any government in the Americas outside those of the Native Peoples. 

America offers it's hand to help, but it is a hand dripping with the blood of the Native Peoples of their own land while the other pushes the descendants of slavery away from the very table that they are offering seat at to others.  

These are the sad facts of our nations history. 

That we are still having the same arguments, and fighting the same wars that our ancestors were.  
And though the language, the front lines, the warriors, and the tools have changed. 
The same reason for fighting continues on. 
Food, Water, Shelter and they safety they provide. 
Many think that Oil is the reason, but oil is just a tool used to secure these other things. 

This Thanksgiving, as many of us are isolated and scattered. 
Either through circumstance or by choice.

One thing that I would ask the people of America : indigenous, refugee, immigrant, visitor or those born on the soil and claim rights to the land is to think on this. 

As you are eating your meals, as you are sharing the stories of your ancestors, no matter what side of history they came from, as you are debating the events of the past four years and speculating on the future.  
Think about where we've come from.
How far we, as a world have moved forward. 
But also how much farther we can go. 

It is my hope, my faith, that out of this blood soaked history we can grow a new tree and Thanksgiving will no longer be an American Holiday.   

But a World Holiday. 

Much like Armistice day.  When the world stopped fighting and shared a meal together. 

When we, as a planet shared a meal by candle light and with our gazes turning collectively back ot\ to the stars and we find a common goal to work towards. 

This Thanksgiving I am not thankful. 
I am hopeful that we will find peace.
I am faithful that those in positions of power will use their voices to build a lasting peace. 
We only have one planet, but we have many peoples, many nations, many tribes.  

Stay Safe Out There. 

Hardly Working

It's funny. 
Trying to justify the cost of hiring me while at the same time being to stubborn to take jobs that refuse to pay a living wage anymore. 
At this juncture I'd rather accept government aid and be able to focus on my writing and research in hopes of finding independent funding that will allow me to continue working in my own fashion while allowing me to pay back the assistance I've received financially from friends, lovers, and yes even the government assistance I've received over my life time. 
Hell on the assistance payback I would like to pay in enough that at least two or three other people would be able to receive the same level of assistance that I have. 
Either as direct financial assistance or subsidizing of their living situation. 
Having a safe space to recover/rest in or at can be one of the most key things for helping an individual maintain a healthy life.  

Fast forward to the current situation.
I'm to the point in my life that I would rather work as a baby sitter for a criminal than work for a legitimate businessperson trying to figure out how to pay their employees as little as possible. 
Thing is, I might not agree with the human that a criminal is, but their children are young and I can be a positive influence no matter how dark the situation.
Where as working for a company or employer that, even though they follow the written law, their goal is exponential growth rather than managed expansion and maintenance.
Exponential expansion is unhealthy, and soon exhausts resources.  While manged expansion and maintenance allows for flexibility in the business and better working conditions/pay  for everyone involved.  

And that's the model we're trying to fix right now. 
Not that capitalism isn't a good resources management system.  
Just that, as it stands currently, it is built on limitless/exponential expansion. 
And we only have one Earth, and maybe a Mars that we can live on.
So yeah.
Be a positive role model for kids, regardless of their familial situation or help business keep a system of institutionalized slavery and discrimination as their operation standard?
Me?
I choose the kids, and anyone that wants to help educate them, so that they have the tools and knowledge necessary to correct our course before we hit an ice berg and, hopefully, avoid the chunks of the bergs we've already smashed into.

Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner

 The 2020 election is drawing to a close and since the early voting started I've been avoiding exit poles, speculation, and commentary.   The closest I've come has been watching the PBS news hour and largely tuning out the opinions and try to pick up on the debate points to keep an ear open for in my other news peeking during this election.  

So I ran this year, first year I was able. 
Kind of. 
I kind of hired a campaign manger.
Kind of advertised.
Kind of talked to people about it. 
Kind of  participated in the debates.

But at the end of it I did my best to stay out of it while still participating.  
Why?  
Even if I did garner media attention I feel like it would have distracted to much from the main issues.  
Do I agree that choosing between two old white dudes represents the country right now...maybe a little...I mean we are trying to teach old white dudes and their cohort that people are people and we need an example of that.  

However, if the Democratic party had really gone for the throat on this, they would have had Pelosi or Harris at the head of their ticket and Warren as the V.P. pick.  
The Republican party...I guess you have to credit them for going down with the ship?
I don't know, like I said, I've been trying to avoid "spoilers".

Am I going to to try this thing again in 2024.  
Maybe.  
I honestly don't know at this juncture.  Mostly I need to focus on pulling my shit together and figure out a more stable living situation.   Or an acceptable mobile one that can accommodate my work needs. 

What did I learn this election cycle? 
Well, for starters, I've spent almost the entirety of it on Tic Tok. 
At first, the app was a fun little distraction during breaks at work as another excuse to avoid talking to my coworkers.  Then I started posting.  Mostly as a short vlog/blog sort of thing.   Then I found...my tribe? 
Cosplayers, socially awkward,  and   other folks with similar backgrounds/professional trajectories.

Though, because of how I outlined my probably candidacy back in 2016 Tik Tock was the perfect platform. 
New, shiny, viral, video based, and...almost like I designed the app. 
Regardless, it brought to fore front one of the biggest issues with the current digital world. 
How to create content, provide a legal database of videos and sound bites for students to play with and provide a monetization option for the creators of the video and sound clips.  
Tik Tock, by design, is a good platform for that.   The only thing it's really missing is analogue content flagging efforts to take down uncredited or un licensed reproductions of sounds or videos.  
If it were my app?   I'd make that a work from home job with the added bonus of finding a legitimate sample of the audio or similar clip for the creator to work with while putting the hard ban hammer down on efforts to flood the app with bootleg sounds.  
The only other consideration would be age/troll quarantining. 
Users under a certain age being server locked from adult content.  And if it's found that an account being used by a minor has falsified their age to access the adult content, banning said accounts.  
Tik Tok, arguably, has become the perfect model for finding, and filling, loopholes in copy wright law.  Both from a misuse stand point and from an over regulation standpoint.   
Take You Tube for example. 
When money started to flood into the platform and larger businesses began exerting their legal leverage over smaller creators much of the smaller experimental channels disappeared and were overshadowed by offerings by major networks and media outlets.   

Yes, You Tube had it's issues with copywrite violations and something did need to be done about it.   But much like the "kill it with fire approach" the record industry took to Napster, we ended up with many quality creators abandoning the platform out of frustration.  But, that does give us a good model for the "cable company" of the future, or rather, "Public Access Cable of the future" Where a platform like Tick Tok would be the "Community Theater of the Future"  and Instagram would be the "Club district of the future"   
I dunno, never messed with Insta, I got off the social media FOMO train a few years ago.  

Just thoughts. 
Regardless. 
Back to the Scroll and trying to figure out which flippin' application to fill out to be able to pay back my debt and figure out how to generate income from my writing and teaching. 

Rejected Invoices

Alright.  
So. 

Realiity time. 

A person with medical and disability needs.  

The hospital is an hour on the bus plus the walking between destinations and stops. 

I do not own a vehicle. 
I have not owned a personal vehicle since 2004. 

Do I want one?
Yes. 
Can i afford one?
Not without going further into debt or taking on debt.  

See, I lived without credit cards or debt for about 12 years.  

Then I my wife put full name on a debt card without my authorization. 

Since then, I've questioned every financial transaction that has happened between us and the people attatched to her.  

Much like when she gifted me the 360.   
I stated, I do not want a big deal made of my birthday.   A small, quiet, dinner with a couple of friends maybe, but no big things please. It makes me uncomfortable. 

Instead she organized a birthday party, conviced our friends to chip in for a new game console and to bring gifts of their own.  

All of the things I didn't ask for and spent the whole time fighting between feeling cared about and feeling like the extravagance was just too much. 

but, as she told me "birthdays aren't about you, it's about everyone else." 

And I was like "Yeah, well, everyone else can talk to me the other 364 and 1/4 days in a year, I do not like celebrating me." 

Quiet dinner with a friend, that's it. 
Nothing fancy.
Hell, dinner can be milk and cereal.  

that should have been my first warning.  
But....when you're wearing rose tinted glasses red flag flags.  

Now.
I can't even get a car loan if I wanted to. 
Can't get a home loan. 
And the work offerings do not offer to pay enough to cover the costs of living or even come close to touching my medical needs.  

 I can go to work for the offered wages and loose the medical coverage that is currently making sure that the duct tape and bailing wire holding me together is still doing it's job.  

Or I can keep taking care of myself while what few resources I do have go into keeping the roof that is over my head over my head. 

It's kind of a catch 22. 
 I go back to walmart or what ever part-time / non benefits job offers that end up on my table and continue struggling to care for myself while not making enough to pay for housing and/or medical needs.   Just enough to get back and forth, a little grocery money, and the utilities.  Requiring me to subsidize through state aid.  

Duty and Loyalty

One of the reasons I was leary of President Trumps campaign in 2015/16, aside from that absurdity of it it at the time, was the Loyalist mentality.  

When getting into government work, not politics, but governemtn work the loyalty should be to the Constitution, the community you represent, and the beterment of the Nation/state/county/city/town of the community as a whole.  

I have a bet that  one of the major factors for trying to push the current nominee through is that Justice Kavinaugh has been ruling in a surprisingly non-parrtisan fashion (I have to respect the integrity if not the individual) and has made Trump and his peoples nervous about rulings on cases they thought they would have locked down with the appointment of Justice Kavenaugh.  

Which, at the time of his hearings, felt just as rushed and forced as the current hearings do.  

I'm not so much concerned about a conservative justice in the courts, especially if they maintain objective integrity regardless of their personal feelings and beliefs.  

You appoint a justice of a conservative or a libral lean not to stack the courts, but to make sure that the position and arguments from those view points are appropriatly addressed when rulings are made.  

A good judge, a good justice, is going to look at the constituion and read the laws as they stand.  And after the appropriate amount of consideration is made, rule on the side of justice and fairness rather than some form of sycophantic sense of loyalty to the agendas of a single group or individual.  

And that's what is bothering me about the current appointment.  Rushing it in the fashihon that is being rushed.  The probable imbalance that will result in the courts.  The thing about Justices Scalia and Ginsberg is that they balanced eachother in disagreements.   Good law happens when individuals from opposing sides cometogether and find the compromise a situation needs rather than the outcome that people want.  

That right there.
That is what it means to be a Justice or Judge at any level of the Judicial system.  
Finding the ruling that somehting needs rather than what people want.  
It is impossible to weed personal feelings out of such strong issues, that is why they write arguments.  So that they, their colleages, and those affected by the ruling not only understand the reasoning behind it and understand a sense of the individual(s) making the rulings. 

That is the thing I do not envy about those sitting on nthe bench v.s. those arguing the cases. 
Having to make hard rulings that can cause protests, affect the outcomes of conflicts, and impact generations of people that come after the ruling is made.

Again, I would have waited to make the appointment until after the election.   I would have waited to start the hearings until after the election, largely because we have an administration bent on creating a power imbalance in an institution who's purpose is to keep the balance of justice. 

The nation has made so much progress in healing and reparing it's self after the civil war, the civil rights movment of the 60's, the inner city conflicts of the 90's, and the affects of a nation driven to war on false pretenses in 2003.   

Why, when the nation has been unititing it's self through the pandemic and the Black Lives Matter protests, are we looking at undoing much of the progress that has been made?

I don't know, that's my argment on the topic.  
Hopefully those making the decision of appointment will take some objectivity into the decision.  

Because to me, the actions of the Administration in these past few weeks feels like an unruly tenat breaking windows and punching holes in the walls after being evicted.