How do you human?
I do not understand this human thing that people do.
Worst of all.
The goddamn ringing in the ears.
It’s no excuse.
But poof, the words are gone all the same.
This is the part where I clear the my throat after uttering something unintelligible at a party and then dive into a conversation that I have no idea where it’s at, quietly slip away, or sit quietly trying to look distracted while I try to catch back up with where things are at.
Such is the life of living with Tinnitus. Whoa is me I know, but I’ll get to what that has to do with watching Godzilla and intelligent infrastructure in a moment.
Alright, so, for those of you that haven’t already googled Tinnitus or possibly already know what it is.
For the Former I say; try it for a day and then get back to me. For the Later I say; ...yup.
Tinnitus is a constant ringing in the ears that can be a different tone or pitch for different people. But in the quiet it’s there...always….there.
Cool?
We’ll come back to that.
So I went and saw Godzilla : King of Monsters tonight.
Let me start with this.
If you are going for the Kaiju fights...oh man….you are in for a damned treat. Hands down the King of Monsters has returned.
If you are going for a good coherent story. That is there.
If you are going to see likable characters react to cool giant monster fights, that’s in there.
If you’re going to see heartfelt moments….well...you know there’s some of that.
Clever science jargon? Check.
Recognizable and beloved character actors. Check.
High Brow award winning actors.
Check, check, and check.
But gorram it.
There was too much of White Hero Dad. And I’m sorry, the gent they got is a great actor, but hot damned was he used as the wrong damned character.
Alright….so let me break down the central Cast of characters for you real quick, gripe about the movie, make up my own movie using the existing assets, and then give you the spoilers and deep cuts.
The Cast.
There was too much of White Hero Dad. And I’m sorry, the gent they got is a great actor, but hot damned was he used as the wrong damned character.
Alright….so let me break down the central Cast of characters for you real quick, gripe about the movie, make up my own movie using the existing assets, and then give you the spoilers and deep cuts.
The Cast.
White Heroe Dad - The “Main Character” that the audience follows through these events. The Tinittus of this movie.
Doctor Mom - The Monster Expert lady who has a child
Famous Child Actor - “We have a part for a child in the cast.” “Boy or Girl?” “Doesn’t matter, whoever we find the other sibling dies off.” “I’ll see who we can get.”
The Scientist People-
Head Scientist Guy
Thoughtful Scientist Lady
Emotional Scientist Lady
Funny Scientist Guy
Weasley Scientist Guy
The Army People-
Head Army Lady
Army Guy
Other Army Guy
Army Lady
The Bad Guy
The Bad Guys Army
Alright. so there’s the Cast...mostly.
My Gripes?
The Casting was top notch. The actors where committed. And honestly the Army People where actually memroable and acted, within the confines of this script, logically enough that I walked away thinking I could have watched those people the whole movie.
The Scientists, again, great actors but the characters that where written ishly, were given so little to work with outside of providing the exposition that pertained to their “specialty?” but each where central enough to the plot that they all had “character arcs?”
Doctor Mom - The Monster Expert lady who has a child
Famous Child Actor - “We have a part for a child in the cast.” “Boy or Girl?” “Doesn’t matter, whoever we find the other sibling dies off.” “I’ll see who we can get.”
The Scientist People-
Head Scientist Guy
Thoughtful Scientist Lady
Emotional Scientist Lady
Funny Scientist Guy
Weasley Scientist Guy
The Army People-
Head Army Lady
Army Guy
Other Army Guy
Army Lady
The Bad Guy
The Bad Guys Army
Alright. so there’s the Cast...mostly.
My Gripes?
The Casting was top notch. The actors where committed. And honestly the Army People where actually memroable and acted, within the confines of this script, logically enough that I walked away thinking I could have watched those people the whole movie.
The Scientists, again, great actors but the characters that where written ishly, were given so little to work with outside of providing the exposition that pertained to their “specialty?” but each where central enough to the plot that they all had “character arcs?”
The Bad Guy was suitibly typcast and used rather surgically. A surprisingly brilliant stroke in the script….so not a gripe I guess.
Huh.
Head Army Lady was well used...if you didn’t have Hero Dad…..alright...I’ll get to him in a minute. I’m working our way back up the list.
Famous Child Actor was, oh man…the acting was believable but they never full on established her as a character beyond that she’s Hero dad and Doctor Mom’s kid. Yeah, brevity in back story is essential for movies that are giant monster movies. But Give me some reason to believe why Child Actor suddenly knows how to use all of this classified tech stuff and army gear? I know mom wants her to be a survivalist and all but….holy shit….I was just thinking about it and they do, slapdashidly scattered throughout the dialogue establish why Child Actor has these skills.
I’m trying to be a negative nancy here, stop filling plot holes silly movie.
Doctor Mom was….well….actually her motivations where clear and logicalish. She wants to protect her child. Pretty simple.
…..
……
This Mother Fucker.
White Hero Dad.
Alright, for starters.
He is the most unnecessary character in this entire film.
Every action he commits...yeah, that’s right commits, because there’s not a whole lot of logical explanation for this guy to be involved outside of the first thirty minutes of the movie or maybe to act as the bumbling dummy that the Army guys have to keep alive.
But his entire story arc is...I shit you not.
“I hate them, kill them all. Do what I say Army People.”
And They Do
“I love them, don’t kill them. Do what I say Army People.” And They Do
“Head Scientist Guy had and Idea. Do what I say Army People.” And They do
Again, the movie was a great monster movie, and I’ll get to the things that they did well here in a minute, but I really feel this needs addressed.
White Hero Dad literally do nothing but throw fits and make the army do other characters ideas.
RAGE….yeah the plot points, but this dude is given so much unnecessary screen time for things that if the well ensembled supporting cast had been better written could have hit most, if not all, of Hero Dad’s plot points.
And at not point in the movie could anyone argue that he’s even a good or likable dad…..AHHH TINITUS!!!!! RAGE!!!!
Breath.
Huh.
Head Army Lady was well used...if you didn’t have Hero Dad…..alright...I’ll get to him in a minute. I’m working our way back up the list.
Famous Child Actor was, oh man…the acting was believable but they never full on established her as a character beyond that she’s Hero dad and Doctor Mom’s kid. Yeah, brevity in back story is essential for movies that are giant monster movies. But Give me some reason to believe why Child Actor suddenly knows how to use all of this classified tech stuff and army gear? I know mom wants her to be a survivalist and all but….holy shit….I was just thinking about it and they do, slapdashidly scattered throughout the dialogue establish why Child Actor has these skills.
I’m trying to be a negative nancy here, stop filling plot holes silly movie.
Doctor Mom was….well….actually her motivations where clear and logicalish. She wants to protect her child. Pretty simple.
…..
……
This Mother Fucker.
White Hero Dad.
Alright, for starters.
He is the most unnecessary character in this entire film.
Every action he commits...yeah, that’s right commits, because there’s not a whole lot of logical explanation for this guy to be involved outside of the first thirty minutes of the movie or maybe to act as the bumbling dummy that the Army guys have to keep alive.
But his entire story arc is...I shit you not.
“I hate them, kill them all. Do what I say Army People.”
And They Do
“I love them, don’t kill them. Do what I say Army People.” And They Do
“Head Scientist Guy had and Idea. Do what I say Army People.” And They do
Again, the movie was a great monster movie, and I’ll get to the things that they did well here in a minute, but I really feel this needs addressed.
White Hero Dad literally do nothing but throw fits and make the army do other characters ideas.
RAGE….yeah the plot points, but this dude is given so much unnecessary screen time for things that if the well ensembled supporting cast had been better written could have hit most, if not all, of Hero Dad’s plot points.
And at not point in the movie could anyone argue that he’s even a good or likable dad…..AHHH TINITUS!!!!! RAGE!!!!
Breath.
Okay.
Last nitpicks without spoiling anything.
Don’t Look directly into the friggin explosions morons, if that had been real you would be blind.
What there are blasts of wind and things kicking up dust and debrie…..again...you can’t look into that stuff. Protect your damned eyes, get glasses, close them, put your hands over them, something. Not even army people where wearing them….and I Know you gotta be able to see actors...but again...don’t look into explosions...don’t look into clouds of flying debris. That is the directors fault right there. The actors where amazingly committed to this deliciously creamy blend of fondu but give them a little direction about how to react to the things that are supposed to be happening to them. if the director doesn’t catch it then the damned technical director had bettter. It’s their damned job after all….technically….technically every single one of your survivors is blind dude. They all looked into explosions or blasts of debris or both. Jeez.
Hero dad droning on...got it.
Underutilized but well ensembled supporting cast. yes.
okay...so the version of the movie I would have written.
Keep all of the major plot points in the same places. Have the army people be in charge of protecting Doctor Mom and Child Actor because plot. Head Doctor takes on role of Hero Dad, except that he is not Dad, he’s just Hero Scientist.
Hero Dad plays essentially same role but is squished in place of a science person early in the film. Doctor Mom helps Child Actor Cope, Child Actor Copes by being able survivalist.
Army people given the Dad’s “Rescue” Story arc because McGuffin. Child Actor deals with fathers death when rescued.
McGuffin!!!
Don’t touch the monster stuff, leave it as is. That was amazing.
The monsters have...personalities. They put enough character into each of these critters that I could have easily watched a movie of them and how they interacted with things and each other and understood, generally what their over all plot was. Because ho man. Lest not forget that all of them there gripes were on the human side of the story. The Monster side was simple, Monsters fight to be king monster. In this corner we have this monster, and in this corner we have this monster...and there they go. In comes the chair. Yeah! Oh look, we have a masked fighter entering the ring, oh no. Tag in buddy, Bang Boom...and...oh yeah…..
This is the part where I straighten my tie and talk about sensable things like infrastructure.
Which, I really felt like that wasn’t something that the movie really explored all that well. Sure they established that their were hidden military bunkers and things but if there was the catastrophic event involving a giant monster years previously...what would their evacuation places look like. I mean I will absolutely hand it to the amount of love that obvioustly went into the design and world asthetic of this movie. But the only thing that was said about the evacuations was that they happen and you’re shown some folks standing in line for transport. But where were they being taken. The evacuation points were all well organized and the world had had five years to develop bunkers and shelters and refugee sites for all of these people got to….I needs to see it. The infrastructure nerd in me needs to see where they go with it.
Last nitpicks without spoiling anything.
Don’t Look directly into the friggin explosions morons, if that had been real you would be blind.
What there are blasts of wind and things kicking up dust and debrie…..again...you can’t look into that stuff. Protect your damned eyes, get glasses, close them, put your hands over them, something. Not even army people where wearing them….and I Know you gotta be able to see actors...but again...don’t look into explosions...don’t look into clouds of flying debris. That is the directors fault right there. The actors where amazingly committed to this deliciously creamy blend of fondu but give them a little direction about how to react to the things that are supposed to be happening to them. if the director doesn’t catch it then the damned technical director had bettter. It’s their damned job after all….technically….technically every single one of your survivors is blind dude. They all looked into explosions or blasts of debris or both. Jeez.
Hero dad droning on...got it.
Underutilized but well ensembled supporting cast. yes.
okay...so the version of the movie I would have written.
Keep all of the major plot points in the same places. Have the army people be in charge of protecting Doctor Mom and Child Actor because plot. Head Doctor takes on role of Hero Dad, except that he is not Dad, he’s just Hero Scientist.
Hero Dad plays essentially same role but is squished in place of a science person early in the film. Doctor Mom helps Child Actor Cope, Child Actor Copes by being able survivalist.
Army people given the Dad’s “Rescue” Story arc because McGuffin. Child Actor deals with fathers death when rescued.
McGuffin!!!
Don’t touch the monster stuff, leave it as is. That was amazing.
The monsters have...personalities. They put enough character into each of these critters that I could have easily watched a movie of them and how they interacted with things and each other and understood, generally what their over all plot was. Because ho man. Lest not forget that all of them there gripes were on the human side of the story. The Monster side was simple, Monsters fight to be king monster. In this corner we have this monster, and in this corner we have this monster...and there they go. In comes the chair. Yeah! Oh look, we have a masked fighter entering the ring, oh no. Tag in buddy, Bang Boom...and...oh yeah…..
This is the part where I straighten my tie and talk about sensable things like infrastructure.
Which, I really felt like that wasn’t something that the movie really explored all that well. Sure they established that their were hidden military bunkers and things but if there was the catastrophic event involving a giant monster years previously...what would their evacuation places look like. I mean I will absolutely hand it to the amount of love that obvioustly went into the design and world asthetic of this movie. But the only thing that was said about the evacuations was that they happen and you’re shown some folks standing in line for transport. But where were they being taken. The evacuation points were all well organized and the world had had five years to develop bunkers and shelters and refugee sites for all of these people got to….I needs to see it. The infrastructure nerd in me needs to see where they go with it.
