My entire life is tied to it.
My way of contacting people.
My way of managing my bank accounts.
My way of communicating with the rest of the world.
When this phone shuts off all of the verification for all of the digital accounts.
Employment records.
Photos.
I just won't have access anymore.
And if I can't remember the passwords, which I won't because I never do, almost every account having a different one, i'll be locked out of them.
Wow.
Here I was.
Thinking that there were people out there listening.
When, as it seems, all it was the delusions of a broken mind.
I guess I'll be on Tik Tok until then.
It's the only place where people still talk to me or interact with me like I'm actually a human being.
But, even then, that account it is tied to this phone as well.
I thought I'd be more sad.
But in honesty, I just kind of feel numb.
Ireached out help years ago to try to get ahead of this.
"Well Jack, how could you know?"
Because I do.
I can't explain it.
I just do.
Down to the day when I would run out of money.
When the credit cards would start defaulting from insufficient payments.
How much of my time and energy would be wasted.
The only thing I didn't account for was how indifferent the people in my life would be about it.
How little my writing and my work meant. Or even factored in to anyone elses life.
I wanted to go to Disneyworld when I retired.
When I had a family to with.
I wanted to go to D.C. to apply for work.
Instead it was backwards.
And Disney dreams and wishes never paid the bills and D.C. didn't want me.
Well.
It was a good run.
I did some good things with my life.
Helped some people out.
Employment records.
Photos.
I just won't have access anymore.
And if I can't remember the passwords, which I won't because I never do, almost every account having a different one, i'll be locked out of them.
Wow.
Here I was.
Thinking that there were people out there listening.
When, as it seems, all it was the delusions of a broken mind.
I guess I'll be on Tik Tok until then.
It's the only place where people still talk to me or interact with me like I'm actually a human being.
But, even then, that account it is tied to this phone as well.
I thought I'd be more sad.
But in honesty, I just kind of feel numb.
Ireached out help years ago to try to get ahead of this.
"Well Jack, how could you know?"
Because I do.
I can't explain it.
I just do.
Down to the day when I would run out of money.
When the credit cards would start defaulting from insufficient payments.
How much of my time and energy would be wasted.
The only thing I didn't account for was how indifferent the people in my life would be about it.
How little my writing and my work meant. Or even factored in to anyone elses life.
I wanted to go to Disneyworld when I retired.
When I had a family to with.
I wanted to go to D.C. to apply for work.
Instead it was backwards.
And Disney dreams and wishes never paid the bills and D.C. didn't want me.
Well.
It was a good run.
I did some good things with my life.
Helped some people out.
And ya know.
At the end of the day that's all I can ask for.
So 4 days.
At the end of the day that's all I can ask for.
So 4 days.
Huh.
Happy thanksgiving.
I'll see you on the other side.
Happy thanksgiving.
I'll see you on the other side.
"Oh Jack, there is no other side. .."
I know.
Just the illusions of a broken mind shattering and falling to the ground.
