"Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster...for when you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~FWN
So let's talk about how it's been staring into the abyss that is VRchat and the current state of the online world.
It sums up pretty strait forward by my experience in the Pool Parlor world.
My first visit I went in sight un seen after having played on some VR pool tables that were in other worlds. I stroll up to a table where the game was nearing it's end and I'm like "yo, how do I throw my quarters on the table to call next game." This kid,
I say kid because anyone under 25 qualifies as a kid to me from my current age.
Nothing against them or their experiences or their maturity it's just a professional consideration having been in the education profession in some capacity my entire adult life and most of my teen life.
So this kid gets up in my face acting the fool thinking I was coming over to talk to the girl he was with or whatever. I just thought to myself, fuck this, and went back to my normal world hopping and listening to my podcasts.
Then I was like....hold up "Aren't I supposed to be the adult here? The Librarian? The Educator? The Example?" So I started talking to people, trying to stick to mostly age verified instances to avoid kids until I could gauge the adults floating around.
And I'll tell ya man.
People in my age range, are few and far between.
Probably because of the stigma that's always been placed on gaming and gamers. And probably because of the Stigma placed on the queer community in any setting so that anyone like myself. Over 30, dates men and women, and has next to zero filter once people get to know me makes folks uncomfortable.
The "Red Pill" "Mansosphere types" because the kids and women that I treat with the same respect I would an adult see the difference and stop putting up with their bullshit. And kids, the wise ones anyways either steering clear of anyone that classifies as a legal adult and/or, And these are the kids I tend to talk to, the ones trying to sus out if they need to call Chris Hanson or not.
'cause let's be real man.
Chris Hanson and his crew does need to be floating around in those worlds to put the fear of god into the actual groomers and "red pill chuds" calling abuse friendship and un reported assault moral superiority.
My second visit in the pool world went very differently.
I'd been hanging in a bar instance, listening to conversation, shooting pool and chit chatting with anyone that came over to play. Had over heard a kid who was turning 21 being given advice on "how to get black out drunk" by someone a couple years older than that and I chimed in "Yo, not the best idea. Isn't healthy, isn't safe. Usually when you're drinking you want to avoid that kind of thing. Especilly if you're alone in your room with a VR headset on. Thats a recepie for passing out and choaking to death on your own vomit."
Eventually an older lady, someone near my age comes over and says hi. Shoots some pool and invites me to the pool world and shows me the tournament room. We play, some other folks come in. I'm just vibing, knocking the balls around trying to get a read on these people. They talk about their time doing psychedelics and that kind of thing and I just stay quiet. I have nothing to add and eventually call it a night.
My next visit I head to the tournament room to play in relative quiet, get used to playing in VR with the more realistic physics the tables have to offer in the Parlor world and mess with different que and table settings. Eventually a couple of the people I had played with drift in and we shoot the shit until a minor shows up.
I'm like, well shit. Hopefully they're not just here to yell slurs and cause nonsense like a lot of kids do, immitating the adults in their life. But na, the kid was quiet, respectful and I said hey "We've got 4 here, let's play teams. The other adults run for their lives because they're terrified of being around a kid apparently. Which, considering the "red pill" behavior of a lot of people. Including the way I was treated when I first showed up. Streamers trying to rage bait and having their fans following me around and harassing me because they thought they'd scare me off I could understand it.
But that's the thing man.
Growing up queer in the 90s. Some online shit stains with an "Alpha" complex or whatever bullshit thing the mansosphere has cooked up nowadays don't really bother me. In fact, being in VR has taught me some.. patience. Not being able to fall back to physical defenses I was used to when I was younger and actually having to engage verbally with them. Mind, it never really goes well the way I tend to mirror back the energy directed at me, but it is what it is.
So I shot a few games with the kid, told em to be safe and to exercise stranger danger around adults, gave them a few pointers I'd learned over the years, and keep up the practice, 'cause they seemed like they had some skill.
And that was when I realized how toxic gaming culture has really become the norm over the past couple of decades and you people like myself really have to exmplify the change we want to see.
The kids floating around need adults to show them healthy examples of safe adults they can interact with.
And so I've been making friends again after nuking the friends list and changing the screen name.
This time though being pretty damned selective about who I allow onto that list.
Yeah.
It's skewed largely to younger women. Mostly because I give everyone the benefit of the doubt but when they start using the "Hard R" throwing around bigots' talk or start using Retard out of hand I just remove them from the list. Which, as I've been saying, gets rid of a lot of strait dudes. And even some queer dudes that I thought were chill in the beginning.
I'd much prefer to find people within my age group that I can get along with. But gamers my age are rare. Even more so when I maintain the boundaries about who I'm willing to talk and hang with.
Kind of like the other day. Got an invite from a person that had friended me.
See, that's the other thing.
I don't send out friend invites anymore. I accept them from people that seem like they're offering it in good faith when we meet in a chat world or a game world that promotes conversation, but I don't send 'em. 'cause I"m not going to be that older dude sending a bunch of people half my age friend invites.
Then, if someone on the list invites me to hang out I go and spend an hour or two with them to vibe check and see if the initial conversation was just a best foot forward situation or if they really are on the up and up.
So I found myself exploring a couple of horror worlds with these kids. Kind of like haunted houses with some game elements to them. They were pretty neat and I saved em to take some other horror fans into if/when the time is right. One of the kids drifted off and it came time for me to open up a scheduled thing for the Role Playing group I've found myself hosting in the past few months and the other kid tagged along.
And it was sitting there, watching this horror movie that I was like, man.
this kid felt safe enough to come to instance, not a private one mind, and hang with me while I waited to see if any folks interested in making characters or joining later games showed up.
And I was like "This is how those guys do it, isn't it? But instead of scheduled events and waiting for other people, they create their private instances and start the nefarious nonsense.
I also realized. If kids going through it, or looking for someone safe to talk to about it to try and get out of a shit situation I'm going to have to place myself in those situations.
That's the funny part too.
The next day.
That same kid ended up joinig me fishing. And brought along a diffrent friend.
Someone claiming to be part of the Law Enforcement. And there was an initial moment where were sussing each other out when I finally broke the ice by asking if they were there in a personal or professional capacity and reminding them that Mandatory reporters are mandatory reporters no matter where they are. And we all went fishing.
Not the type of folks I'm looking to make friends with, but I do like to be aware of other people. Other adults, out there being role models instead of predators.
And, you know, who to point the kids too if they're in they're having serious issues.
So yep.
Still at it.
Keeping up with the younger folk out in the worlds, providing safe spaces for the ones going through it to be able to talking things out if they need to, and trying to find people in my own age group that I can vibe with on a more personal level.
I get why people didn't trust me in the start.
I wouldn't either if I didn't know me or I didn't come with references.
But, slowly but surely the community is coming together.
They're starting to see that I'm modeling the change that people want to see in online spaces.
And yep, looking for folks to pass the torch too.
Which, as it stands, is mostly young women.
Because...well...unfortunately. In the modern online climate they're the only ones that understand the dangers and pit falls of the mansosphere culture. But, fortunately, for them and those that will come after them. They're hope, and drive, for creating a better, safer, and kinder world hasn't been extinguished yet.
The only struggle now, is to get older people to be hopeful again and stop writing these young people off as a lost cause.
'cause I'm telling you dude.
When we're old...older than I am now, and loosing the mental and physical capacities to be self sufficient how we've treated them will directly effect how they treat us. And more importantly, how they'll treat the people they'll need to pass the torches too.
But that's the change we're trying to affect.
To quite some of these loud, overpowering voices, used to shouting down and blaming smaller, more vulnerable, communities for the things they are actually guilty of doing.
You know.
Like when you look into the people in the Epstine files. See how they spoke in public v.s. what they were doing in private. Watching how they used their leverage to stomp out these smaller communities that wouldn't let them in to affect their abuse on them.
The same way the Blank Panthers were classified as domestic terrorists while the Klan and other such groups were said to "only be defending their freedom of speech' and what ever other twisting of the constitution they could use to justify their actions.
much the way the current administration is doing to news organizations and activists groups that call out the actual war crimes and civil rights violations they're committing.
"To light a candle is to cast a shadow." U.K.L.
