Meant to be read aloud.
“I am the very model of a modern major general.” ~The Pirates of Penzance
Where to start.......................usually at the the beginning.......cliche much?
The honest truth?
I'm probably the smartest person you've ever met.
But.
There is always a but.
There are more people out there with similar mental and physical abilities than you'd think.
Keep in mind, the wizards first rule: Smart does not mean wise.
Rule 2: Experience helps.https://youtu.be/Mzcgyk62cHU
Rule 3 : Always defer to someone with more experience.
Rule 4 : There is always a but.
If you were to look at my academic and professional career as a chart it would look statistically average with anomalous blips here and there towards the beginnings.
These blips?
From an early age I was fascinated observing the behaviors of those around me. Especially when they thought I was not paying attention or not smart enough to understand what was being said.
Because of this I know;
Exactly how much my time is worth.
That adults lie about almost everything.
How they lie is what counts.
And people.
In general.
Are simultaneously.
Some of the most awful and amazing creatures crawling on the face of the earth.
Making them warms....
Did you know that when I started learning to touch type they would put a box over my hands so that I could not look at what I was doing? Sadly I never really picked up the number or functions row as a part of my natural touch typing skills.
On the other hand....budump....
I am blazing fast with a ten key.
Another reason I am not great with the numbers row is because I learned, a lot, initially on a manual, suitcase style typewriter. Which was too big for my little hands.
My mother demonstrated to me how to use it and replace the ribbon when I was about six.
Manual typewriters make for a good foundation of strong fingers.
-See magic, music, and collectable card games.
If you were watching a poker game right now, this would be me dropping my hand on the table.
And.
Yeah.
Those are my chips.
Because the problem with trying to give an accurate portrayal of my full range of education, skills and abilities is that there are several. And I'm just now figuring out how to address them.
1.
I am a genius. Literally, not figuratively.
Weird to say out loud.
Especially considering that when I was a child and people couldn't figure out what was “wrong” with me I was placed in the special-education class. For what, as a child, felt like weeks. It was assumed that I was mentally handicapped in some fashion. Luckily between the special education teacher and the school counselor, who were both good at their jobs, they figured things out quickly enough.
So I've gone my whole life with the niggling thought that...you know...maybe I am mentally handicapped and people lied to me about the results on my tests and reviews to make me feel better about myself...but then...well yeah.
I experienced it.
Also the responses of some people to the results of those tests does not help with one's confidence.
And.
I downplay myself a bit.
2.
Legal Crap.
I do not know what is still classified by the U.S. Government.
I do not know which things are still under active investigation or litigation.
I do not know which things are still bound by nondisclosure agreements.
So...pop culture references will be used in lieu of personal experience where I feel I would be infringing on legal or personal toes and leave the investigations up to you, the reader, for anything you feel needs clarified.
3.
There are currently no existing institutions that offer degrees in some of my fields of study.
I will do my best to stick to the numbers and present them with as little embellishment as possible.
4.
On my resume I always present the most accurate information available to me and leave it to the employer to perform their own due diligence on the claims made within.
5.
Because of findings in recent studies on human behavior corroborated by my own observations I've come to realize that many of the skills I have learned are not so much extraordinary when considered individually.
It is the quantity of them that is startling.
And often unbelievable to a lot of people.
6.
I have little formal training in academia outside of the institutionalized state education punitively enforced by the local judiciary committees in my home state of Kansas.
7.
I have spent so much of my life keeping the true depth of my mental faculties hidden for various reasons.
Bullying.
Working in environments where my colleges are regularly, and almost consistently 10 to 20 years older than I am.
Being put into positions of authority where no one realized I was supposed to be that voice, or because of my age, would be quickly dismissed as uninformed.
All of these things have made me an incredibly shy individual.
Until I feel I can trust a person...then...well...I got yo back dog.
Taking all of this into consideration. I will give each skill or area of study a number of years with applicable active study, age when that education began, and any continued study into adulthood.
Caution:
Further reading will include:
Bouts of foul language.
Footnotes with topical reading/viewing.
Travel suggestions.
Also…
Because I have suffered several head injuries over the course of my life.
And.
Recent studies into human psychology have shown with statistical significance that; eyewitness accounts in stressful situations are about as reliable as being in a game of telephone being played by twenty people....
I'll present events as I recall them and would suggest seeking corroborative sources for some of the more outlandish claims.
Addendum:
Add recent findings from active scientific studies to help substantiate outlandish claims concerning science and technology. Adjust projected outcomes of any statement using variables from the most accurate and recent studies.
In that order.
Insert :
Most of the people you would need to to verify the statements made here in concerning my experiences are accessible on my Facebook friends list. The rest, that are still living, can be contacted if they wish to be identified.
So buckle up kids, 'cause I'm about to breath so much hot air you'd think OZ himself were trying to get to the moon.
And in a way.
I am.~End Transmission~
