We don't need roads.

 Without the Boys,  Superman wouldn't feel so hopeful. 
Without Deadpool, Captain America wouldn't seem so wholesome. 

"Hey...uh Jack."
"Yeah."
"People are starting to talk?"
"Bout what?" 
"Seems like you've always got someone in your lap."
"And?"
"Really think that sends the right kind of message?"
"To who?"
"Everyone."
"Look.  When I originally laid this crazy plan.  Staying independent and negotiating over shooting.  Building over bombing I said pretty fucking clearly who I expected my entourage and  security detail to consist of."
"I thought you were kidding."
"Deadly serious brother, Only swinging dick in my crew is mine."
"What bout the Tranies?"
"You watch your fucking mouth, show some respect, and mind your fucking business. Because unless you plan on sharing a bed with 'em it's none of your fucking business what they do or don't have in their lower half."
"So hookers, porn stars, and strippers huh?"
"I mean, I ain't judging what they did before they got there. Hell, that experience is why I prefer them watching over my back than a bunch of dudes who's survival was guaranteed by the thickness of their neck and the meanness in their voice." 
"They make the conservatives upset and the admirers a bit jealous." 
"Look, if rolling with with the crew I asked for is good enough for Jesus it's good enough for me, and if the pearl clutchers have a problem they can take it up with Jesus and read the bible themselves."
"Equating yourself to Jesus are you?"
"Nope, just not going to pretend I'm better than anyone else morally. And if judgment falls on my head and I'm found lacking that's my problem, not ya'lls. The one thing about me that unnerves a lot of people, and why most of my soon to be predecessors failed is because they were trying to deal with people doing their best from a position of moral superiority."
"You really think drug dealers and murderers are doing their best?"
"Look man.  I think, just like any other group, the U.S. included.  Started of with good intentions, but the longer fighting wears on the intentions often get lost in the compromises we make with ourselves to take care of the people we care about. " 
"How do you know they were just doing there best?"
"Because I listen without judgment, take and receive advice in equal measure and do my best to see that everyone around me is safe.  Everyone."
"Blue button?"
"Purple Button."
"There is no purple button."
"There are four lights."
"What."
"You just tried to tell me there were only two lights.  There are four."
"Red and Blue bud that's it."
"Left or Right?  That's what you're telling me?  What if I want to go up, or down?  There are four lights. I'm a purple button guy."
"Okay...so you're going to replace the men in secret service with women?"
"Don't be daft.  The men can cook and clean and sit in the office and type reports.  But doing the field work, walking the patrols, sitting in the guard posts around the White House. Short, tall, wide, skinny, doesn't matter as long as they pass the tests and finish the training. Full makeup and heels if they're comfortable in em.  Like a Victoria secrets runway if the models were some of the most dangerous people on the planet."
"Why, so you can have harem of women at your beck and call."
"You don't know me do you?  Ask the last guy what I told 'em when they asked for a seat at the table. No.
It's not about enforcing beauty standards or a perverts fantasies. It's about symbolism.  Think about it.  You're a young woman, told your whole life that you were less than, didn't belong, or couldn't do the job.  But then the most powerful person on the planet walks in surrounded by Valkyries.  Imagine you're a young boy, being told that same thing but in reverse and you go to the seat of the largest and most feared military presence in human history and instead of seeing muscled men straining their suit jackets you are confronted with women who exude more power in a glance than you were led to believe women weren't even capable of."
"You're serious aren't you?"
"As a heart attack." 
"You going to be doing the same with your cabinet, all women there too."
"Dude, that's a whole different thing.  I have some people on my list that I'm going to put up for positions but they have to go through the process like everyone else and I plan on pulling most of my cabinet from the seated House and Senate when I take office. 
Oh, going to put your buddies and family members on your cabinet? 
Na.  Only person I have on my list at the moment is for secretary of education.  Haven't seen 'em in years and they probably wouldn't want the job anyways, but I'd still want 'em in that seat." 
"Why?"
"Because I trust them, they put their students safety and well being as a top priority, and they take their responsibilities as seriously as I do."
"So.  your V.P. pick then?"
"A.O.C.  if they want it, if they don't, their recommendation."
"A fucking blue haired cat lady?"
"Need you to understand something there bud. Even if I did buy into that 'Liberal are just a bunch of soft little snowflakes" bullshit I'd still want someone like that as my V.P. for two very important reasons. It protects me from crazy ass conservatives looking for a bell tower to post up in, because as much as they hate me if they took me off the board their worst nightmares would come true.
2nd. Regardless of what I think of her politics I know for a fact that they will come out of their corner swinging when needed and has the knowledge to get the job done."
"Been stalking that lady online have you?"
"No more or less than any other major political figure of the last 30 years. I can't generate accurate prediction models if I don't stay aware of who the players are."
"So you're going to surround yourself with scantily clad and muscled women that are known to have sex and undress for money and possibly have a history of drug use to protect you and the nations capital, pick a leader in the progressive movement as your 2nd in command and then walk into the homes of the most notorious criminals on the planet for cigars and scotch and tell them they're working for you now.  Then sit down for meet and greats with terrorist leaders and dictators to tell them the war's over?"
"Yeah, pretty much."
"You're insane."
"Yeah."
"No way in hell."
"Never know until I try."
"You're just going to let the Terrorists win."
"No, I'm going to let the soldiers go home to their families to grieve and to rest and to heal." 
"What about the ones that don't want to stop fighting?"
"Pretty sure I've been clear on my marching orders. The U.S. Military will be the backbone of global humanitarian efforts.  Only setting foot on foreign soil at U.N. direction." 
"Docs and Chow huh?  You're serious about that?" 
"Mmmhmm.  the U.S. had the worlds respect and trust then lost it.  We have to earn it back."
"What about the war hawks?" 
"Pretty sure the U.S. military is a volunteer force, and as long as I live and breath it will remain so.  That's what makes it the most disciplined and feared fighting force in history outside of the wars where the draft was used."
"What about no fatties, trannies, or fags." 
"Might as well say no Irish, no Italians, no dogs if you're going to have that attitude."
"You open the flood gates like that you're going to get people that can't read, can't write, and probably shouldn't be trusted with a tooth brush, let alone a gun."
"That's what basic is for.  To determine aptitude and offer the ability to educate themselves."
"So they get shot at for a few years and then they get to go to school for free when they get home."
"No, they go to school during basic.  They pass their exams, they complete the course, they get deployed.  They come home with a degree that can be leveraged in civilian life."
"What about the ones that can't pass their exams?"
"How does someone no pass their own exam?"
"Huh?"
"This isn't no child left behind or standardized testing we're talking about. It's finding their aptitude, placing them in positions where they'll succeed and then proving they can handle the challenge."
"Coddling?  Really, that's your plan for the armed services."
"No, testing, giving them the greatest challenges of their lives and teaching them the skills to succeed.  In exchange 1 deployment into an active combat zone or 5 in ton none combat zones. Then they can choose to stay or go assuming the docs give them the mental all clear to resume their duties. If not transition them back to civilian life."
"Transition them?"
"Yeah, find em work they want to do and the V.A. helps them get there."
"The V.A. doesn't have the funds to do that kind of thing."
"Yet." 
"Yet?"
"I aint done rummaging pockets."
"Gonna loose a hand doing that."
"Going to loose the planet if I don't."
"So what then? You convince the worst of the worst to work for you and/or lay down their weapons and go home then convince the rest of the world to trust you with the Nukes?"
"Pretty much." 
"To send 'em to the moon and then set the islanders up to monitor any and all nuclear activity on the planet."
"That would be Justice since the bombs were tested on their people and their homes." 
"And the Russians, Chinese, and North Koreans are going to be on board with this?"
"Pretty sure the already are, they just don't trust the folks in the seats right now because they're mostly the same people that were there when all the shady shit went down in the first place."
"Playing some awfully dangerous pool there Jack."
"Not from my perspective." 
"Oh, and you think you've got the end all opinion on it all do you."
"Nope.  I just know that Nuclear bombs and bickering over resources is keeping us to distracted from the real threats."
"ohhh, climate change?  Some people think that's a hoax or just a liberal scare tactic."
"Do they mow their lawn?"
"What's that got to do with climate?"
"That's climate change in you own hands.  You're trimming the grass, grass affects the ambient temperature, moisture retention, and wild life nests. You cut the grass, you affect those things.  Little things ad up, especially when multiplied on the scale of a city or a nation. That sands of the Sahara is the dust from the Amazon.  Simple as that."
"So what's it distracting us from?"
"Ask the dinosaurs."
"Some people don't believe those exist."
"Next time you look up and see a shooting star in the sky, hope we saw it coming and that it's not big enough to hit the surface then."
"What if someone tells you god has a plan."
"Not going to talk someone out of their beliefs, just ask them a question."
"Oh?"
"Do you think God, capital G for respect to their beliefs, is going to let them back into His garden if they don't take care of theirs?"
"Ooof."
"Just a question.  After all, the good book says in almost all of it's iterations that Free Will was gods gift to humanity and what sparked the Devil's jealousy that caused him to fall."
"Not every book says that.."
"True but most of 'em, and the ones that don't have a similar moral." 
"So your platform is world peace because you think you're the 2nd coming?"
"Not even close. I'm neither prophet or holy man.  Just a kid that grew up too fast."
"Fucking moon base huh?"
"I am a simple creature, motivated by simple things."
"Why not just buy a ticket on one of the rockets and be happy you got the privilege?"
"I think Carl Sagan said 'To make an apple pie, you first have to create the universe' and I personally would rather do the work so that kids I'll never meet and voices I never hear will be able to look up with hope the way I did back when the shuttles were still flying."
"You keep talking like that people might actually start to trust you."
"Can't think about that. Got to focus on the work."
"What?  Going to parties and playing games?"
"Introducing myself and listening to what people have to say."
"In VR."
"Shorter commute, saves money,  and everyone has a chance to pop in at some point.  Only cost of admission is finding a device to connect with and finding me in one of the worlds. Hang out and listen or ask questions.  People are starting to figure out they can literally AMA.  Ask me anything and I'll answer no matter how rude or ridiculous."
"What about Iowa?"  
"What about it?"
"Aren't you going to do a campaign stop there to secure the votes?"
"Kissing hands and shaking babies?  Not my style."
"Showing people you're a regular person."
"Uh...I dunno what's regular about going to an ice cream shop with an entourage and press following you around."
"So no public appearances, you scared or something?"
"Na.  Not scared just pinching pennies. It takes money and resources to do those campaign trips. If and when the time comes I'll hire a train and we'll ride the rails and do it that way."
"Makes you an easy target there bud." 
"Meh, no worse or less than at any other point. Besides I don't need millions for ads or anything else.  I'm not asking people to give me their dollars and time for vague future promises and   I'd rather they use their money and time and invest it into their communities how ever they can. Be it volunteering to clean up trash or donating to their local library. Not my money, not my choice. How many times have people thrown money at a politician just to see it pissed away?"
"You're missing photo ops not going to do that yourself." 
"I've done that myself, and not for photo ops or recognition, just because it needed done."
"Banking on it now aren't you."
"Just setting an example that I hope others follow." 
"So how are you going to pay for it all then?  The campaign that is?"
"I've got a few tricks up my sleeve."
"uh huh, you're bluffing your way through all this aren't you."
"Just need to renew my license."
"Then what."
"Then I pay my crew."
"With what?"
"We'll see, I haven't looked at those accounts since they were opened."
"And if they're empty?"
"I make a list of supplies I need and send it out and see if anyone can lend a hand."
"Not money?"
"na, just food for me and the cats, stuff to fix and upgrade my equipment so I can keep doing what I do., maybe some weed from time to time so I can focus on the writing I need to do.
"Then you start a whole new political party?"
"With black jack and hookers."
"Fuck off."
"Would love too but moon base."
"Child."
"Never stop dreaming."
"Fag."
"Gotta a problem with that?"
"Pussy."
"You can raise your voice, but don't raise you hands, I don't hesitate."
"Bitch."
"And a sassy one."
"Retard"
"Smarter than you."
"..."
"Got anything new to say or can we get to work?"